Unknown Blue

I feel this thing inside of me
that wants to go free
but I can't let it out
in a cry or a shout
I don't even know
why I need it to go
I don't even care
why I don't want it there
I just need it to go away
but I don't want to have to pay
It needs to leave silently
so no one knows it was inside of me

It all hurts so much
To happiness I clutch
but it moves out of reach
I have a leach
that's sucking me dry
but I can't cry
I'm so confused!
I've been bruised
and cut
but I don't know by what
It all hurts inside
but still I lied
and said I was okay
Every single day
I pretend to be bold
but it's so cold
and so hot
Brave I am not

I can't remember
what comes after September
or my middle name
or what came
between me and you
or the color blue

I get lost in my own home
aimlessly I roam
not knowing what I'm supposed to do
not remembering what became of you
It's all fallen out of my ears
coming out in tears
it's fallen out of my eyes
been replaced with lies
it's come out of my nose
it all goes

It fell out of my mouth too
That's how they know what I did to you
That's why I ended up in jail
without hope of bail
That's why I forget
because I don't want to remember it
How you betrayed me completely
bruised and cut me . . .
And that's why I forgot blue
That's why I killed you.