Sunday, January 31, 2021

Flurries

Just because I'm not sure - 
Already lost in the rain
I'll still attempt to be her

Land on my feet again
And hit the ground running

Failing always to be so stunning
Like one caught in a daze
Actions spinning round my head
Make up my mind when I am dead
Maybe it's all just a phase
Endings only spur the fire

And it's only right that this is so

Limits only strengthen desire -
Already prepared to watch you go
My soul is ablaze and it has a right to be
Etch it in your mind: you have no right to me

Etch it in your heart and watch it bleed
Take it away, I will go without

Just trying to lose the doubt
Etch it in my heart, make it my creed

Does it really have to go like this?
Or couldn't it be better?
It's all been a swing and a miss
Still feeling I've never met her

Life continues, again and again -
Always losing myself in the rain
Vast plethora's soaking me
Over my head, stuck in a daze
I'll watch my soul, still ablaze
Really, it has every right to be

Sunday, January 17, 2021

Captivate

What shall I do now?
Oh, if only I knew
Uncertainty bathes my head
Like my thoughts of you

Don't want to think
In these silly circles anymore
Twirling in memories and dreams
Buried in rambling words from times before

Endings aren't definite
Time makes them a reality 
Only, I don't want it to
Observe how ridiculous I can be

Days will pass - I'll be fine
Reality will eventually dispel
All the heartache and memories
My pen wishes to tell

Advised against it - still I hoped
Though I knew you'd never be mine
I let myself wonder -
Could our fates intertwine?

Too dramatic and bookworm-ish 
Only, that's what I liked most about you
Said such wonderful things
And I wanted to believe they were true

You captivated me, and then you let me go too

Sunday, January 3, 2021

Resolutions

Today life took me by the hand
Gave it a tug and told me to stand
I simply scowled and pulled away
"Just what do you think you're doing?" I had to say

I crossed my arms and asked life, "Well?
What gives you the right to make me stand when you're the reason I fell?
I have no strength to deal with you today
Just give me a break until I feel okay

You've been so difficult - you've been so hard
You shattered my heart and cut me with its shard
You've tested me - you made me cry
Yet I kept struggling - I really did try

Well, I'm tired of trying - just let me rest
I simply can't keep giving you my best
It's just never enough for you
You cause trouble no matter what I do"

Life looked at me, then shook its head
"Are you done complaining yet?" it said
"So I've been difficult - what did you expect?
I offer no satisfaction guarantee, last I checked

If I came with a warning straight from the start
It'd say "Guaranteed to break your heart
Without a doubt will make you cry
And shall always leave you wondering why"

This is simply the hand you had to be dealt
And with each heartache that you felt
With each stress induced gray hair
And every time you wished you didn't care

You grew, my dear - you're growing still
Expanding your mind and strengthening your will
I test you, yes, even more than usual last year
And now you're so much more you than you used to be, my dear

Would you rather I be easy - never require you to change?
Would you rather stay put and never find your true range?
I will forever continue to test you, it's true
The only variable is: what will you do?"

I looked long and hard at life, then said simply
"Since you're bound to be you, and now that I'm me
I will not ask for no tests or trouble this year
I shall simply make one resolution: I resolve to persevere"