Sunday, December 20, 2020


Such a strange mix of emotions
I can't sort them out
To translate into words
That'll let anyone know what I'm talking about

Other's words work better
Mine just don't fit
Because "all I do is get over you
And I'm still so bad at it"

I just keep scribbling out sentences
None of them are quite right
I keep convincing myself I'm fine
But I don't really sleep at night

Yet I can't shake this feeling
That everything will be okay
That it all was necessary and worth it
And, despite what some may say -

You were worth the struggle
And all the heartache
Just for a moment, we were meant for each other
And I can't view any of it as a mistake

That's why the emotions are so confusing 
I hurt so much, and not at all
It's not a numbness or an apathy
Just a tidal wave of thought through which I fall

"And it shall never end
For when we return to the dust we are
The love we shared will be sung
For all the endless ages to come by every star

And if we meet once again
We'll take up the song so long forgone
To sing of bliss forevermore"
But the stars fade with the dawn

I know I shouldn't think of you anymore
But I still worry about you, dear
I've always wanted you to be happy
Much more than I've needed you here

And I know I shouldn't write about you anymore
And should really try not to care
But I still listen to your playlists
And, partly just to spite you, I chopped off all my hair

You left a bookmark in one of my books
And a five year plan in my journal
And I don't know what to do with them
Harder still are the remnants that are internal

But everything returns to dust, so "that is all for the moment
Until next time - until then, do not worry"
Take a deep breath, let it go, and watch it all fade
As the first light of dawn reaches out to warm me

Sunday, December 6, 2020

Tertiary Corollary

We almost had it this time
Echoing in my heart and mind
Shivering down my spine
How my thoughts tend to replay and rewind

Always figured we were meant to be
Laughing at the impossibility 
Lingering with your arms around me
Doubting still our durability

Reality has never measured up
Or we never let it
What's changed exactly?
Now are we simply desperate?

Or have we come to realize
Reality just doesn't make sense -
Really, unless we're together
Earnestly, I don't know if that's a pretense

After everything we've been through
Choosing to try to all again
Has me so very worried
Still, the possible good outweighs the possible pain

Hope is such a dangerous thing
Offering my heart in favor of it
Risking so much believing that
Echoing worries won't cause us to quit

Trying so hard to believe it
Oh, I want to, I do
Give me some time
Echos will fade - shall they outlast you?

Truly, I've always felt we're meant to be
How you've challenged that conviction 
Even though you felt it too
Risking once more valediction 

Don't give up on us, dear
Endeavor to hang on this time
And I'll hold you in my heart always
Remnants of you in every word that I rhyme