Renewal

I have my doubts
And anxieties
I keep myself warm
Turning away from the breeze

My skeletons are young
Flesh still dripping from their bones
My thoughts are fleeting
Blood racing with hormones

My eyes change color
Reflecting the answers in my head
It aches and throbs
In retribution for the flames I never fed

The fiery passion within
I smothered with harsh words and ice
Coldness grips my heart
It was never my device

I can't control my eyes
They leak and they turn red
I can't control my mouth
And the lies that it has bled

My heart races when it shouldn't
My voice shakes when I speak
My hands tremble often
I'm slow and I'm weak

My list of failings goes on
Forever, seemingly
My worst flaw of all
Is how often I find fault in me

Shrug off your past mistakes
Love yourself, they say
Sometimes I can
But sometimes I'm not okay

Is that okay?
Everyone feels a little darkness now and then
I'll pick myself up
And begin again 

Frost Laden Hitches

The sun slowly rises

And the frost on the ground

Sparkles and dances

As we drive around

Watch the leaves fall

So thickly it's like rain

Showering me in dirt

My smile reflected in the windowpane 

The sky's such a pretty hue

Seen from far away

Smile, won't you

Though we never play

Getting stronger throughout 

Just not my resolution 

Hands stained with dirt

Landscape covered in litter and pollution 

Blisters on my feet

Pimples on my face

Hitches in my plans 

Trying to find my place

But I'll smile and laugh

At little things I like

The sparkling ground

A frost laden hitch, roof, bike

Standing on covered porches

While leaves shower down

Smiling at strangers

So long as they don't frown

Riding in the back of trucks

Cold wind pushing on my skin

Driving backwards on sidewalks

Seeing where I've been

Don't know exactly where I'm going

Hardly know where I was

But I suppose that's okay

Because, who really does?