Only An Octet

For lack of anything better to do -

For the sake of my spinning head

For the chance to find a better view 

For consolation when I'm dead

I'll try to write something new

Something I've never said

Write it all in spite of you

Or give it all to you instead

Eight year now, and they ask me why -

As if I could just quit

Eight years gone, still I try

To make something they won't forget

No matter what, life will pass me by

Why shouldn't I spend it

On all these words thrown at the sky

My dear, I know - it's only an octet 

Only and perpetually just poetry

Thrown against the page

Matters not to anyone but me

If my thoughts won't cease to rage 

They swirl and swarm incessantly 

Though I trap them in this cage

Is it worth the time to stop and see -

Alas, that's not for me to gauge

But for lack of anything better to do

For the sake of my wandering soul

For the chance to find a different view

As a way to challenge or console 

I'll try to write something new

Something to make me whole 

Write it all just for you

Or just for you pass by as you scroll 

Everything Is Untouched

Even unto my last breath

Visceral retches clawing at the air

Even unto my very death

Reality shall taste so rare

Yesterdays marred and tainted 

Truth and memory are not acquainted 

Here at last I'll find my peace

Inside the silent void

Nothing left - all life destroyed 

Going where even time must cease

Inside oblivion I might find

Serenity or chaos

Until then, I'll lose my mind

Never minding such a loss

Touched by stars, stuck in grime 

Oozing from my pores 

Untie the noose, unfurl in time

Changing the locks on all my doors 

Heat the knobs till they can't turn

Ending everything in a single burn

Dancing in the ashes

But fire can't burn forever

Untie the knots before they sever 

Time lost in distant flashes

Forget them all, these words I say

Or these letters that I type 

Reality holds more sway

Ever more than any earthly gripe 

Visceral reactions have no place

Enclosed in civilized assembly 

Real or not, wipe them from my face

Caught in lifelong hypocrisy 

Here at last we'll all find peace

Amidst the crowd where individuality must cease 

Never minding that it's all an act

Growing ever more or less deranged 

Everything is untouched but forever changed

Drowning in the abstract 

Repetition

Taking stock once again 

Hate how often I start to doubt 

All the things I was sure of

Take a breath - let it all out

Still questioning reality 

Or how much is in my head

Understand it's all perspective 

Nothing's certain till we're dead

Don't you get it yet?

Still listening to me explain

Lacking all I needed 

I'll only cause you pain

Keep tracing these same circles

Each repetition digging further

Cutting deeper and deeper

Etching out everything we ever were

Let the pattern fade

Or drown again in doubt

Rectify reality 

All I can ever do is let it out

Has The World Been Unkind

Tell me about your day

Has the world been unkind?

Lost in the fray 

Are you losing your mind?

Did your last thread break

And shatter your calm

Did the whole world shake 

And fall from your palm

Have you been taking care 

Of your health and your heart?

Do you have things to share

Or do you not know where to start?

Is it all bouncing round

Inside of your head

Does it drown out all sound

Do you hear thoughts instead

I'll listen for as long

As you need to confide 

Tell me all that's gone wrong

Tell me how hard you've tried

Let me hold you until

We've soothed your heart and your mind

Let me hold you still

Until the world feels kind

Conformation

It's important that you be yourself 

It's important to fit in

It's important not to eat too much

And to not be too thin

Look at yourself

All the edges that don't fit

In the circular hole they've given you

Look at the funny way you sit

Why can't you sit straight?

Oh, I wonder why -

Why don't you laugh more?

Why can't you cry?

So heartless not to care

So sensitive to mind

So perceptive and judgmental 

So naive and so blind

All that matters is how you finish

But you call that a place to start?

Always try to save face

But I pick mine apart

Apart from all the expectations

What is there left to do?

Drenched in all the conjecture 

Losing your grip on you

Because it's important that you be yourself

Just be the self they want to see

It's important that you be yourself

But I'd rather just be me