Sunday, May 28, 2023

Phases

I want to start at the end
Can't get anything wrong that way
All the energy we spend
No longer wondering if we waste it every day 
Taking each step backwards 
Having nothing to run towards
Endings don't require 
Labored anxieties or thought 
Petrified notions all for naught 
Feeding off the memories of a fire
Reaching until even we expire

Or maybe we'll start in the middle 
Making mistakes nonetheless 
All my thumbs can do is twiddle 
Still waiting for someone to confess 
Kindly, before this turns into a memory 
If you're feeling lonely, please just tell me
Never believing this could last 
Going out to watch the sun set 
All I wonder is, are you bored yet?
Reasons to smile fading so fast
Each novelty slipping into the past 

Yet we must have begun at the beginning 
Once more worrying how it may end 
Universes go on spinning 
Blind to all the tears and energy we spend 
Or how we struggle day by day
Realizing we may not be going the right way
Endings don't need
Days spent arguing in my head 
Yearning for things you never said 
Empty of memories that might feed
The love that's trickling to a slow bleed

Monday, May 15, 2023

Always Hard[ly] Aging

We have reached some boring middle years 
The young twenties, you might say
When exact age hardly matters
And nothing changes day by day

Perhaps I'm doing it all wrong
These years shouldn't be wasted, so I'm told 
But I had no milestones this year
And it's got me feeling rather old 

How can I see movement 
With grades and graduations all forgot?
How can I measure my success
When ways to measure I have naught?

It's not really been a boring year
And there's been movement, I should know
I'm just not always good at
Giving myself time and space to grow

There are more steps to take in life
But they weren't for stepping this past year 
Twenty-one was for building 
All I have with me here

Building savings, building credit
Building experience - building me
A twenty-two year long project 
Is it yet finished?  Hardly!

I've hardly aged since last year
Still battling the marks on my face
Yet it's been a hard time aging
Always trying to find my place 

So have we reached some boring middle years?
It might sometimes feel that way
But life needn't rush so -
I'll enjoy what's here today