No Skin Off My Back

Write in a notebook, tear it out
Fold it up so it can't shout
Stick it in a drawer to collect dust
Dig it out and post it when I must

Could be two days old
Could be two years, dead and cold
Could be all fiction and lies
Could have a slight truth amid it's cries

Most of my poems come because I have nothing to do
So I pick up a pen and write about something I'm sure somewhere is true
Sometimes it comes out in a poetic story
Other times it's just random thoughts that come to me

I work with fictional people I create in my head
Who stay to write their thoughts, then they are dead
Stay to write their story, then fade back into nothingness
Stay for the dry paper and leave without a kiss

I dramatize little flitting feelings of dismay
Though I feel quite happy most every day
But happy poems aren't as fun to write
As ones about fear and pain and shadows of the night

So that is my Creative Process -
A muddled, unimportant mess
Been going on for three years now today, easy and cheap
No skin off my back - Happy 3rd Anniversary In [the] Deep

No skin off my back, no painful story of my own
No little secret, no wise way shown
No skin off my back, I've got no gift or curse
Just some thoughts, written in verse

Pants

Allow me a minute
Or three
Or four
Or two

Give me a firm place to stand
And I will
Or won't
Move you

It's time to get up
But you feel
Too very
Blue


It's not that
I don't have
Some longing
You know

It's just
You're no longer
Enticing
Interesting . . . no

Sorry
You're not motivated
To strive
To grow


You never
Gave me a firm place
To stand
To dance

Yet I
Always gave you
A second
Or third chance

But now
I'll say goodbye
Thank you -
But I can wear my own pants

Pressure

I feel slightly sick to my stomach
I feel mostly wrong in the head
I feel I might be okay
As long as I am dead

To remove the pressure from my mind
I split open my skull
And out sprouted wisdom
Along with stupidity to answer the call

And I know I'm over dramatic
That's why I don't like them to see me cry
And I know I'm bad at making friends
That's why I don't like to try

When divine inspiration hits
Is when I have no pen in hand
When I open my skull
Is when they don't understand

A crack that opens wide
To vomit out a word
And then it shuts up tight
To devour what it heard

And they swing out of sync
While he smiles up at me
And we pray and we sleep
And long to be free

But what has us trapped
Aside from our own head?
What keeps us down
Aside from the comfort of our bed?

And I wake up early
So I have time to waste
And we say we're unique
Going copy and paste

And I'm sorry I'm not
Everything you want me to be
And I'm sorry we're not
Always happy

But maybe we could make it
If I could vomit out words in front of you
And maybe someday I will
When the sky's no longer blue

And I feel mostly sick to my stomach
While you pull and I strive
And I feel I might be okay
As long as I'm alive

And If

I've been searching my soul for the answer
Been watching the world for a cure
But they're not there
And it's not fair

And if I were a pencil I'd have no point
And if I were part of an arm we'd have no joint
And if I were an instrument I'd be out of tune
And if I were an overachiever I'd be on the moon

And who says we need happiness
Other than those who profit from what we miss?
And it's not sane
And we're so vain

And if I were always happy I'd be naive
And ignorance is my greatest peeve
And if I were truly confident I wouldn't care
And since we're not sane this is what we wear

And if never tasted, why do I miss it?
And if we can fly, why are we still in this pit?
And I'm not to blame
And they'll say the same

If I gave no excuses I'd be an anomaly
And if there was a way out there'd be a fee
And if we're tired why don't we sleep?
And maybe I'd feel bigger if I weren't stuck staring at the deep

And we're just trying to forget our limits
The fact that our bodies will one day call it quits
While the universe goes on like pi
Still we die

And if I understood I'd be unique
And if you did I'd kiss your cheek
And if I were human I would lack
And since I am I will look back

And I search myself for answers because I'm in deep
And I watch the night sky while I should be asleep
And the answers are sometimes there
And that's pretty fair

And if I were greedy I'd take thirds
And if I were me I'd write these words
And if I were you I'd read them now
And if I were done I'd take a bow

Silver And Gold

Soaked in lies
Invisible pride
Longing to hide
Vicious cries
Existential ties
Risking those who have died

Apart from that
Neither deserves a pat
Dying with black cat

Gifted or not
Only one shot
Lend all you've got
Didn't add up to a lot . . .