From - Your Little Soldier Boy (#2)

Dear Mother,
     I know in my last letter I said I'd be back home before long
And I'm sorry to say it, but it turns out I was wrong
     The reason for that is...Well, it's hard for me to say
But the thing is, mother...I'm not okay
     The truth of the matter is that I am a coward
Because I froze when the bullets showered
     Because with much fear your name I cried
Even though it is to you I have lied...

     I've often written you and only spoken of
Returning home, my bravery, and light things, with love
     Truth is: There are no light things here
Truth is: I'm a coward who only knows fear
     Truth is...I can never come back home, mother
Truth is: This is the last letter you'll get from me; there can't be another

     So tell father I love him, and tell him I'm sorry
And please...Please try and find a way to forgive me
     Tell him of the brave people around me, practically all
Tell him that with courage many men fall
     What he doesn't need to be told is that, in my last fight, I never once fired
What he doesn't need to be told is that with fear I was inspired
     With fear in my heart I sit, frozen I stare
At the bullet whizzing towards me without a care
     Time slows, and as I watch I compose this letter in my head
And then my time is up and I drop down dead


( From - Your Little Soldier Boy (#1) )

The End Of Forever

It is not hard
To think of life
Going on and on
Nothing changing
Always the same
Everyday
Week
Month
Year
Routine
The same day
Over and over
It is not hard
To imagine
Never growing
Older
Always being
Fourteen forever
Never aging
Never changing
Never worrying
About the future
A future of
Work
And marriage
Children
And choices

It is hard
And it is scary
To think of aging
Of changing
Of life
Moving on
Until death
Claims me
Forever
I can't think of falling
Asleep and never
Waking again
I can't imagine
Life
Time
Thoughts
Stopping
Forever
But someday
It will
I don't know how
To cope
Prepare
Accept
My fate
My future
My end
How can I?

It is hard
Because life
Won't go on and on
Never changing
Our routines
Alter
Our habits
Transform
Our days
Blend
Gone
So fast
And suddenly
There's no time left
To play around
Because now
You need a job
Now
You must get married
Now
Have kids
Now
Raise them
Now
Die

But still life
Continues on
Now I'm fifteen
A whole year gone
A whole year gained?
Maybe it's not so bad
To age
To change
To gain
Experience
And wisdom
And the sadness
Of one day
The fear
And the decay
All blend
With the happiness
And growth
Of the next
And vice versa
So that the happiness
Wished upon me
For my birthday
This year
Will stay with me
Forever
Until
My forever
Ends

Favors

Could I ask for a favor?
Just a little one?
Just a small wish
For you to put out the sun

There's so much evil in this world
How can good ever win?
So put out the sun
And destroy all the sin
It's the only way to triumph
Only way to get rid of the bad
Any good will sacrifice itself
And be glad

Won't it be better
If it all goes away?
No more pain
And no more May
No more good
No more bad
No more sane
No more mad

What's the world come to?
Nukes and bullets and blasts
All while the good
Just sits and prays and fasts
Why aren't the prayers answered?
Oh, won't you put out the sun?
People are slaughtered in the streets
For politics and fun

And it's not okay
And it's not all right
The good are too moral
To stand and fight
Oh, why won't they fight?
Why won't they stand?
Won't you help them up?
Send down your hand

Just do something, please
Lift us up or put us out already!
Though maybe not the second...
Just help us, lord of eternity
Lord my god, don't put out the sun
For not all is corrupt
And the world shouldn't end
So abrupt

Put out the evil
And let the good sun live
For it's not fair to kill the good to get the bad
Even if they're prepared to give
So let the sun flare
Use it to extinguish
None of the light
And all of the darkness

Use it to fight
And use it to heal
Our physical wounds
And the pain we all feel
Nourish the light
Encourage the fun
Heal the world, god
And please . . . never put out the sun

Spilled Ink

You are a pencil
That cannot erase
You leave your marks
Like tears on my face
I am a pen
That's run out of ink
Nothing to write
Nothing to think

You leave your marks on me
Bruises blue and black
You leave your marks on me
And I do nothing back
You leave your marks on me
What am I to do?
You leave your marks on me
And I leave nothing on you

Someday I'll find someone
Who'll only know how to erase
Who'll leave no marks
And dry my face
Someday I'll find someone
And then I'll make you go
Someday I'll find someone
Who won't sink me so low

Someday my ink'll be refurbished
But I will not leave hateful marks like you
My ink will be refurbished
And here's what I will do
I'll draw you out of my life
And draw somebody better in
I'll draw you out of my life
And find someone to erase your marks of sin

Because I am a pen
Who will find their ink
Because I am a pen
Who needs to say what they think
I am a pen
Who will no longer be left blue
I will live happily
Unmarked and without you

Swallowed Bliss

Words flow forth
From her lips
He slams the door
And the scale tips

Words and words
Harsh stern voices
Stumble on
Too many choices

Everyone's talking
Nobody's listening
Nobody sees
That my eyes are glistening

Meaningless words
Frugal action
Bumping along
So much traction

She held her tongue
For too long
Could hold it no longer
And the words burst forth wrong

Listen to me!
Listen please
But her words blow away
In the breeze

Listen now!
He'll say in frustration
But from listening
She'll take a vacation

Words go on
And then they split
Of the good times
They forget

I live with her
On the weekend with him
I try to talk
But can't get through to them

He finds someone else
And I know she'll follow
The words stick in my throat
Until I give up and swallow

Maybe someday
They'll get back together again
Maybe someday
We all can win

Maybe someday
I'll go to him and by her be followed
Maybe someday
My words won't have to be swallowed