730

It's all just days and days

Stacking up together

It's all an ongoing attempt 

To learn how to be better

Learning how to disagree 

Without saying something I regret 

Learning how to voice my needs

Without getting upset 

Two years and there's still

So much that I don't know

So much time trying to learn

Yet so much space left to grow

All the days that I stumbled

Each time the words came out wrong 

When my anxieties surged 

And I didn't feel strong

Through it all, you remained 

Steadfast and true 

I always tried to be self sufficient

Now I'm trying to learn how to rely on you

 

I've never been a fast learner 

But this much at least I understand

The lessons are less daunting 

When you're there to hold my hand

It's all just days and days

730 since we've been together 

And I don't want to ever go back

Because I've found something better

Empty Space

Tell me, if I swear to be honest -

Honestly, would you promise to be kind?

Echoes of old memories

Echoes I don't want to find

Make believe it was for the best

Pretend it doesn't affect things anymore

Tormented with anxious attachments -

You traced insecurities into my core

Swore to be honest, but I lie to myself

Pretending you didn't see

All the manipulation and pressuring -

Claiming it was all for the love of me

Empty space is all that should be left now

Growing solid and secure

Really, what's accumulated -

Echoes of all the reasons to feel unsure

Why can't I just forget?

Sometimes, somehow, I do

Old echoes falling silent 

Listen, really - I'm over none of it but you

I swore, so here I am, in honesty 

Do you think even for a moment you ever kept your promises to me?

~

The Empty Space Between Us

The Empty Space Accumulated

Sieve

Sifting through past thoughts

Picking apart each memory

To justify today's emotions

They come in waves to toy at me

Did I always feel this way

Or did I convince myself later on

Did each thing matter quite so much

Or did I raise them with the dawn

All of life is perspective 

It changes day by day

Altering the past

Silently fading old thoughts away

Trying to decide what to think

Trying to remember who I was before

Trying to keep everything

While trying to be so much more

Trying to make sense

Out of ever shifting memories 

Trying to find something solid 

The truths bend in the breeze 

All of life is perception 

Trying to show you through my eyes

How all of it is sieving chaos

Lost in endless skies  

Weather

On our way to oblivion 

Watching the stars sway

We'll hook our fingers together 

And feel the world pull away

Riding it out for better weather

But the weather doesn't stay

It leaves us empty, this everlasting void 

Fills us up with barren space

Seeps in through your eyes

Pushing tears down my face

I've never felt such defeat 

Or given up so much before

But I have given all of me

With no strength left to restore

Losing all but one simple plea:

Why can't you give me any more?

In the end, it's only pain

As dramatic as that seems

The price of life, love, hope -

Nothing but a shattering of dreams

On our way to awareness 

Watching our convictions sway

We'll let go again 

And regret pulling away

Returning always after the rain 

For the weather doesn't stay

Calm

And as we close our eyes

Listening to the ebb and flow

Connect it to our breath 

Draw it in, and let it go

I'll hold my heart in my hands

Create a space for it to be

Though crashing waters surround

With suffocating finality 

They build around my feet

And rise to cover my head

Ply at me with possibilities 

And words I never said

And as we sink to darkness

To drown beneath the shore

Lost in racing thoughts

Wondering if we could have done more

We return always to the breath

Though at times it may shake

We carve out spaces in time

And give all that it may take

What more can we do?

Accept it and float on

Try to soothe the torrents 

Until the storm is gone

And as we open our eyes

Still leaving space for us to be

I'll hold my heart and know:

It is enough to be taken care of by me