This Time

This page is for mistakes
Sentences I'll later scribble out
Like the thoughts in my head
My heart is full of doubt

This verse is a diversion
Because I don't want to dwell
On things that make me sad -
All the times I ever fell

This life is meant for action
But I'll stay here safe and sound
Daydreaming of all I could do
With all the courage I never found

This air is full of castles
That all crumble on my head
Yet I continue making them
Until they crush me and I'm dead

This death will be a sad one
"What a wasted life," they'll say
"Had such potential, but did nothing -
Always saying some day"

This day will never come
Unless I force it to
But fear makes me weak
And this requires strength to do

This is the problem -
Watch my hands begin to shake
And my mind begin to race -
Pulling at these anxious chains I cannot break

This time I want to be brave
Braver than ever before
Lost in a sea of daydreams
I want to reach the solid shore

This page is for mistakes -
Things I'll never admit to you
Silly daydreams and a nervous heart -
Watch me tear it out and start anew 

Serenity By The Fire

Soften your eyes and smile
Ease has come again
Rush no more, you say -
Ending only when comes the rain

Now we relax and I reflect -
Is the world still on your shoulders?
Tired eyes respond to me
You gain strength as the fire smolders

Buried all week in mundane routine
You'll dig us out with smoke
Together with some conversation
Home in the memories the flames evoke

Elation and tranquility surround us
Flames reflect in our eyes
I look up toward the stars
Revealing our thoughts in the skies -
Ending only when the fire dies

In Ash And Flame

This house will never change
Come or go, it's all the same
We'll be together in the end
In ash and flame

Do you hear the fire crackling now?
Feel the warmth upon your skin?
The scent of charred flesh fills my nose
It comes from within

With blazing eyes they'll watch me
With hearts of coal they'll judge
Mistook me for a traveler
This house will never budge

We'll burn it to the ground
Take the ashes to the sea
Wash it all away
Finally be free

But it shall rise again
So we'll chop it all to bits
Watch it stick back together
Finally call it quits

This house will stay for always
But I - I shall run away
My feet growing heavy
Watch the tethers fray

Cut the ropes and break free
For a moment at least
Fall dead without them
Watch the flames feast

Tie me back down -
I'm a puppet on these strings
Nothing without them
Defined myself by these things

But I'll not give up the fight
Against this house of insecurities and blame
For I saw it growing slowly smaller
So watch me outlast its flame

Revision

Oh dear - I'm getting older
How strange it all seems
All the troubles and the changes
To reality and my dreams

The things I wish to cling to
That fade away so fast
My small world that's growing
So very vast -

But wait - I demand a moment
To stomp my foot and proclaim -
"Yes, today's my birthday
But some things are still the same!"

The greenish brown color of my eyes
The dimple in my cheek
The gap between my teeth -
My smile, my ears, my widow's peak -

My love of writing and drawing -
My heart is much the same!
Full for family and friends
Though sadly prone to anger and flame . . .

There are good changes I could make -
Hard as they may be
Improvement requires revision
And there are things I must amend in me

Change is very daunting
But I need to learn to want it
More than the comfort of
What is familiar to my spirit

So let me take a moment
To breathe deeply and proclaim -
"Today's my eighteenth birthday
And nothing's going to be the same"

Field of Sunflowers

Flooded with light
It entices us to grow -
Elating with love
Lingering on - let it go

Don't shrink away now -
Open towards our sun
Feel it surrounding -
Smiling until we are done

Unwavering and warm
Never to be taken for granted
Flourishing for you -
Oh, these seeds that you planted

We will come back to you - come back to us
Eastward facing once more
Returning always, this
Sun that we adore