Don't Think Twice

Yesterday I realized: this isn't fine
Ongoing thoughts of lilac and pine
Unwisely, I allowed a restart
Justifying how you toyed with my heart

Unwarranted, I suppose I'll say nothing at all
Subtly you'll fade, constructing a wall
Tempered with surety, I'll shut the door
Knowing all along I'd get nothing more

I'm not implying you treated me unkind
No: you could have done better, but I don't mind
Dared myself to try, and look where it went
Allowed myself to feel, and now I feel spent

Was it simply a waste of time and heartache?
Allowed a restart, prolonged our mistake
Silly and childish, I built castles in the air
They crumbled and crushed me, and you no longer care

Even so, I never could blame you for our plight
Don't think twice - it's all right
Make it all worth it: what is it worth now?
You broke no promises, I made no vow

Perhaps there is no worth, perhaps I wasn't meant to gain
Real friends or knowledge - watch it all wane
Echoing and circling in my tired head
Criticizing every silly truth I ever said

In soft and subtle tones, beckon me to rest
Once again wishing I'd tried my best
Unable to stop these circling thoughts and sleep
Smelling green pine, counting trees instead of sheep

Tomorrow you will slip away, and I won't mind
I didn't do my best, and you weren't always kind
Maybe it was just a waste of time and heartache
Ending in the slowest break