They Said

They said pity the living
While you mourned the dead
I told you to give me a moment
So I might clear my head

And I'm not to be trifled with
But don't take me too seriously
Take from me no answers
And give me no pity

I'm a washout and a fluke
Full of platitude
I'll sit here for hours
Swinging like my mood

They said we're going nowhere
So I said watch me run -
Run out of time and grace
No more chances - we're all done

And do you resent me
For opening my lips
For wanting something more
For loosening these grips

Darling, you're getting old
All your joints will start to rust
You're doing it all backwards
And we're dancing in their dust

They said envy the dead
While you rejoiced over life
I said leave me here
So I might shed your strife

And I'll try to make you understand
But you'll just roll your eyes
Do I sound clever yet?
Caught in my web of lies

Make it into something more
Than it's ever been
Take a breath of fresh air
And we'll begin again

Laudanum

It's all so useless

It's all so dry

Thinking I could get through this

Thinking we wouldn't die

It's all going dark

And my blood's running cold

Sinking through life

Doing what we're told

Answers don't matter

Details all fade

Life slowly crushes

Sweet memories we made

Laughter only echoes

Until silence reigns supreme

Fantasies don't transpire 

Privation eats away your dream

Obsequious still

Take my very breath

Really, I don't need it

Only ending in death

Nerves eating me slowly

Acid pouring from my eyes

Ate clear through me

Laudanum raining from their lies

Undergo an exchange 

One heart for another

Get one that doesn't leak so

Take one that doesn't smother

Hold it until it stops beating

 . . . until it all runs dry

Take my very breath, dear

 . . . you know I'll comply 

Hazarding Heptad

Reach for a new sheet of paper

For all the thoughts that weigh

Running out of ink now

Let's put all these words away

Seven years worth of them 

Sure adds up to a lot

Shape them all to form me

And everything I'm not

How to sort through them -

Stacked in pillars about my head

How to deny them -

All the words I ever bled

Sure adds up to a lot -

Dripping out of me everyday

Perhaps I'll take a sabbatical 

And clear all these cuts away

I've earned it now, you see

Seven years giving my best

I'm running out of words now

Seven years worth - how can I fill the rest?

Perhaps this is all I have -

Is there anything worth writing left inside of me?

I'm bound to run dry someday

It's just a question of when that'll be

Asking myself yearly -

What more can I possibly say?

I pick up my pen regardless

And give all my words away

Dried Paint

Waiting for the grass to grow

And for the paint to dry

Waiting for myself to stop

Watching the night sky

Waiting for the phone to ring

For you to want to talk

Waiting for the seas to drain

And for the trees to walk

Waiting for the lines to sound

Right in every way

Waiting for the pain to leave

And for the love to stay

Waiting for you to show

That you really care

Waiting to breathe in water

And swim through air

Waiting for the storm inside

To finally make a sound

Waiting for it to matter

When I'm not around

Waiting for the courage

Waiting to catch a break

Waiting for my hands to still

And for the mountains to shake

Waiting all of my life

Waiting just to know

That I should have stopped waiting

A long, long time ago

Eternity

Ask me questions I can't answer 

Little words that captivate

Light a spark behind my eyes 

Eternity isn't too long to wait

Letting all the old thoughts softly abate

Show me what could never have been

Twisted as it was before

Adrift in crushing upheaval

Yet stagnant at its core

Who knew it could be so much more?

Show me what is possible now

Everything as it should be

Show me all the silver linings 

Held within infinity 

All within a moment of you holding me

I'll answer questions you never asked 

Tangled webs to hide behind

Hidden meanings left undisturbed 

Mysteries you'll never find

Echoes of thoughts I revise and rewind

Light a spark and watch it blaze

Lingering unto the night

Moments stretching into days

Onward into the light

Void of all but warmth and rays

Eternity drifting out of sight