In Ash And Flame

This house will never change
Come or go, it's all the same
We'll be together in the end
In ash and flame

Do you hear the fire crackling now?
Feel the warmth upon your skin?
The scent of charred flesh fills my nose
It comes from within

With blazing eyes they'll watch me
With hearts of coal they'll judge
Mistook me for a traveler
This house will never budge

We'll burn it to the ground
Take the ashes to the sea
Wash it all away
Finally be free

But it shall rise again
So we'll chop it all to bits
Watch it stick back together
Finally call it quits

This house will stay for always
But I - I shall run away
My feet growing heavy
Watch the tethers fray

Cut the ropes and break free
For a moment at least
Fall dead without them
Watch the flames feast

Tie me back down -
I'm a puppet on these strings
Nothing without them
Defined myself by these things

But I'll not give up the fight
Against this house of insecurities and blame
For I saw it growing slowly smaller
So watch me outlast its flame

Revision

Oh dear - I'm getting older
How strange it all seems
All the troubles and the changes
To reality and my dreams

The things I wish to cling to
That fade away so fast
My small world that's growing
So very vast -

But wait - I demand a moment
To stomp my foot and proclaim -
"Yes, today's my birthday
But some things are still the same!"

The greenish brown color of my eyes
The dimple in my cheek
The gap between my teeth -
My smile, my ears, my widow's peak -

My love of writing and drawing -
My heart is much the same!
Full for family and friends
Though sadly prone to anger and flame . . .

There are good changes I could make -
Hard as they may be
Improvement requires revision
And there are things I must amend in me

Change is very daunting
But I need to learn to want it
More than the comfort of
What is familiar to my spirit

So let me take a moment
To breathe deeply and proclaim -
"Today's my eighteenth birthday
And nothing's going to be the same"

Field of Sunflowers

Flooded with light
It entices us to grow -
Elating with love
Lingering on - let it go

Don't shrink away now -
Open towards our sun
Feel it surrounding -
Smiling until we are done

Unwavering and warm
Never to be taken for granted
Flourishing for you -
Oh, these seeds that you planted

We will come back to you - come back to us
Eastward facing once more
Returning always, this
Sun that we adore 

Springtide Thaw

I'll imitate your dazzling smile
Familiar and versatile
Overused all the same
Running short of fervor and flame

Gone are the days of puerility
Ostentatiousness and stability
Took a hold of my heart -
Haggard but never torn apart

Obligingly, I was defeated
Wonder and sincerity all but depleted
Grace and love nowhere to be found
Rain and tears came crashing down

Excellence will never be attained
Exactitude is ingrained
Never without our anxieties
Toughen up and let your smile freeze

Heave a sigh, thaw my face
Engrave in my eyes a little grace
Gash out of my heart the irritating skelf
Returning always to my true self

Atoning for my past mistakes
Soothe and bandage all the aches
Subsume every little fear
Catching every fallen tear

Observe the sunshine on the grass
Understand this too will pass
Light reflecting on the dew
Dancing there, just for you

Beheld with joy, just for awhile
Emulating their selfless smile

Wane

Sometimes I feel like I want to go back
To a time before my mind turned black
Before my heart began to crack
And my skin began to burn
Before you made me learn
About how the world is made to turn

I'll lay with my face turned towards the rain
My back pressed into grass and grain
Watch the moon wax and wane
Drinking in secondhand light
Letting my muscles relax and go tight
Close your eyes and fade into the night

In the nighttime your memory is tactile
In the moment it makes me smile
In the morning my mouth tastes of bile
I'll give no blame for all of this
The cracks and burns that came from our bliss
It was a long shot - we should have known we'd miss

So don't miss me - but don't forget
The secondhand flames we lit
Our highest mountain and our never ending pit
A loving touch and an awful sting
Onto the memory I shan't cling
For there's my moods - watch them swing

I'll watch the clock - see the seconds drip away
Watch the seasons change - now we're okay
Basking in this sunny day
Life's too short to waste time looking back
At our many mistakes and happy memories we lack
As time marches on we'll forget the crack