All The Kept Words

Caught between two moments

Caught against the flow of time

Eternity shall cover the

Dust and salt and grime 

And all the little pieces 

Left between the cracks

Like waves on the shore

Smoothing all our tracks 

Left between two choices

Left because they wouldn’t choose 

Between what could be gained

And all that we could lose

Like all the missed chances 

Held within a goodbye

And all the lost words

Between the ground and the sky

Held between two standards 

Held accountable for both

Maintaining traditions 

While sustaining growth

Between all the needs placed

Right onto our back

Like the stones on a mountain

Til we start to crack

Right between two lifetimes 

Right now, and then, and there

Moments shall uncover the

Hearts and thoughts and care

Like all the grasped chances

Caught within the question why

And all the kept words

Between you and I

Consumed

I’ll burn the world attempting to 

Satisfy this heat

Watch the flames grow stronger now

Charring my frozen feet 

If I could but feel warmth inside

I could be complete 

Every day, I’ll feed the fire

Not letting it burn out

With tenderness or fury, for

Coldness comes with doubt

If I could tell the difference, well

Perhaps I could get out

Of all these cycles I have made

Always attempting to

Make my life, my self feel whole

Make the world feel true

To make the feelings stick this time

I’ll put them all on you

Every time, I convince myself

This is what I need

If I can’t feel enough love

Anger can be the feed 

And I’ll feel sorry tomorrow, but

For now I’ll watch you bleed

So I’ll consume eternity and

All that it may hold

Swallow the very earth and sea

The spoken and untold 

If I could but feel full inside

Then I won’t be cold

All of Life

Fickle findings fold and fade

Amidst the atmosphere 

Capricious candor carries well 

Expounding existential fear

Death dwells not on drib details

Willfully wonderstruck and wild

Intending to ingest infinity  

Til time and truth are not defiled

Harken to hearts harrowed and hard

Aggrieved arteries do acclimate 

Lonely, lost, or languishing 

Lessons learned letting love asphyxiate 

Onus overhangs opportunity 

Fickle findings fade and fold 

Like lessons lost to life never lived

Instead, ignite interminable cold

Flames form futures forgotten now

Eternity expounding til I emerge old

Seasons

To find where time goes -

Have we discovered that yet?

Where the sun meets the sea

And the skies never met

Where the colors all shift 

In the blink of an eye

No in between stages 

No time to ask why

Missed it all in the moment 

Going so fast

Missing it still 

The seasons don't last

Sifting hot sand

Turns to cool rain 

Leaves crunch underfoot 

And snow starts to wane

The sea takes the sun

Where the changing years met 

And time slips away -

To lose but not forget 

Cobwebs

Sunlight never reached this place

Hoarfrost crept further in

Amongst the slipping shadows

Lost and found again

Lost to time and memory

Where all forgotten things must go

Entrapped in dust and cobwebs -

Fate and dreams and snow

In the stories that we tell ourselves 

Now entwined within our veins 

In the background of eternity

Sifting through what remains 

Had the fog been any thicker -

The road that much more unclear

Harsh winds could stop us

Empty words keep us here

Still listening to the stories

Twirling on life's thread 

Of course the sun never reached this place

Rivers freeze inside each head

Yet - let us torch it all with inner fire instead

1096

It’s all just days and days

Losing count while they fly

It’s all an ongoing attempt

To hold the very sky

To grasp these possibilities 

Elusive though they are

To find the unique essence 

Held within each star

We can lay down beneath them

Watch how they shine

We can take our very essence

Learn how they intertwine

How they shift and grow

Together and apart

Complement and contradict - 

Overlapping always at the heart

Time may change all else

As only time may prove

The conviction within the profession: 

Stay with me - all else shall move

If it were but a fleeting fancy

A poetic license gone astray 

Would it have yet prospered to the

1,096th day?

It’s all easy while the stars shine

They say it fades when the sky is matte

But I will love you til it all goes dark -

I will love you even after that

Behold

Ah, but look what we have found now -

Every shade of green within the grass

The trees whisper secrets but won’t say how

Time decides to pass

Through all that burns and fades

In swiftly cascading decades 

Or in slowly eroding ticks 

And tocks that make no sound

Buried in the ground

Or in all we try to fix

Shall we guess what we’ll discover 

In the changing colors of the sky -

The stars winking like a distant lover

The breeze laughing but never saying why

Time began to flow

And life began to grow

Through all that’s false and true

And everything between

What we say but never mean 

In what we feel but never do

But look what we have done now -

Colors bursting brighter than before

Tides crash and hiss, break and vow

Life can mean so much more

Than the counting of days

Discovering all the ways

To shade the grass and sky

And view the rolling sea

Everything we ever wanted to be

Is here in the beholder’s eye

Downpour

After the clouds have gathered

Notched themselves into the sky

Drunk on liquid thunder

Weary and ready to hang dry

How the rains shall pour down

Atop the flooded plain

Turning the barren soil

Igniting all that isn’t sane 

Forgotten things come crawling 

Ignored thoughts toss about   

Here amongst the lightning 

Are all the fears and every doubt 

Vicious as the thunder 

Echoing inside your skull

Numbing the ragged edges 

Of every flight and fall

Take nothing from this place

Hearing only these unknowns 

In all the liquid lightning

Notched into your bones

Go now, while you can -

Take your breath and run away

Or drown amidst the downpour 

Swelling in the fray 

After the clouds have scattered

You can find dry land some day

Tides

In all the sands susurrating beneath my feet

In all the hissing shore

Shall we find where thought begins

Shall we be left wanting more

With all of life left to go

And all that’s come before

Out amidst the crashing waves

Out in the undertow

Can we keep our footing

Find a way to not let go

Without emptying of air

Or all we used to know

In another lifetime lost to chance

In the sun’s unyielding glare

Will we build up palaces

Made up of dreams and air

With all the land and all the sea

And perpetual scrupulous care

Out with the tide for a moment

Out of place and memory

May we release our trepidation 

Succumb to the rolling sea

Without pining for anything more

Or less than reality 

Night Air

In the darkness, half asleep 

How my thoughts do stray 

Passed memories and fantasies 

Through all the things that weigh 

Brush them aside with just a breath -

Scatter them beneath my bed

To sink into the carpet

And right out of my head 

I'll fill back up with night air

And the softness on my skin

The twinkling of stars 

And the world's unending spin 

Filling with every breath -

Every exhale filling you

We'll empty out of daylight

Keeping only what is true

In the morning, half awake

How the world does sway

I'll gather all of my thoughts

And fill once more with day 

Seeds

In time, what will matter -

With time, what has changed

Instances just scatter

Long hours all estranged 

Left gathering all that isn’t here

Like the hair behind my ear -

One more year to tuck away

Vigilantly, though I know

Each hour will always show

Years compile in every day

One more time, let us find what matters -

Undertake impossible tasks

Life is full of all that shatters

Indeed, both hearts and masks

Kept putting them back together

Evading such stormy weather 

Try to unlearn all these things -

How to live just to appease 

Eat your heart out, drink the breeze

Pull and cut these worn out strings

All this time, this is what mattered -

Scattering seeds to watch them grow

Softly repairing all that’s tattered 

I’ll stop to watch the sky glow 

Not to fret over time we waste

Gazing at things we never faced

Time continues either way -

I'll gather it here around me

Marching on to twenty-three

Eternity compiling every day

Gray

It's all an endless gray

That much I finally understand

All the emotions swelled and roared 

And then spilled out of my hand

With overwhelming pressure 

It crashed down around me

And with the smallest of drops -

So small they couldn't see

In the end it all runs dry

Voices flowing til they're hoarse 

In the past it's been replenished 

But we've bled the very source 

Now there's nothing left

And nothing left to say

All the color drained from the world

And turned to endless gray

Clarity

In this hollow feeling we find

Wondering and lost

Instances of clarity 

Let us ask - has it been worth the cost?

Linger here a moment

Bring it all to a staggering halt

Adjust all of the lenses 

Swear once more - we're all equally at fault

Kill all of the doubts

In cold blood, watch them bleed

No courage left to face them 

Still insisting - this is what we need

Undone as we are

New and old mingling in our mind

Letting the scars overlap 

In the end - what do we find?

Growth stunted, for the sunlight is tainted -

How we wish it weren't this way

The bitterness sunk in deep  

And corrupted every golden ray

Now it's turned this blood red color

Dashes of yellow all but gone

Still each night we stand shivering

Holding out hope until the dawn

In the tainted light of day

Verily mourning what we've lost

Etching these scars deeper 

Realize - it's never been worth the cost

Noting Nonary

If I get lost amidst the details

Fade into the atmosphere 

If all that’s left is background noise

You can always find me here

Lying between the sheets

Caressing reverie 

Tangled in fabrication

Weaving the world around me

Such a strange set of armor

With gaping holes and pinching seams 

And nine years of corrosion 

Caused by stagnant dreams

If I get stuck in all the synonyms 

And the endless march of time

If all that’s left is twisted words

We can find clarity in rhyme 

Riffling through these sheets of paper

Lies and truths snuck in between  

The years are marked in paper cuts

And spilled ink I can’t scrub clean

Such a strange bed to lie in

Full of every comfort and every tear

And nine years of cultivation 

For I've always found me here

Breakers

Dally here in calm waters

Etch these memories in deep

All the gentle waves and moments 

Real or not, they’re yours to keep

Yet in time this may falter

Or perhaps it never was

Unearthing twisting shadows 

Still trying not to see the cause

Clutching to any semblance 

Really, the smallest drop of remorse  

Empty hands finding nothing

Waves hitting with such force

Echoes keep you here

Daring you to not let go

Take it all in the name of

How things were, how they might grow

In time, what will be -

Slowly giving up more and more

Until you’re beaten down or until you

Pull away and make a break for shore

Voices

Just give one more explanation

Until they understand 

Still trying to survive

Taking yet another final stand 

Take a few more for good measure 

Heat them up until you burn

Eat their words so they feel better

Vomit them out and never learn

Out in the real world for a change

If only you could find

Clues to where reality begins

Ending what’s only in your mind

Still searching for the seam 

Intent to tear it apart 

Never could grasp the edges 

Made up of mind and heart

Yank it all down around you

Hitting at the voices in your head

Echoes lashing out 

Aching to be said

Darling, it's time to drown them out, or watch as they spread 

Forevermore

Today you'll be my inspiration 

Offering myself in return 

How strange a transaction 

Accepting all the highs with every burn

Vast swaths of things we have yet to learn 

Each moment could be a treasure

All lost in time's sea

No ways left to measure

Days piling to eternity 

Take one more for you and me

Once more, forevermore

Hold tight and learn anew -

Of all the things that I adore

Love, they mean naught compared to

Days piling high with me and you

Embedded

Didn't I used to fit here -

In between the hard and soft

Dragging us down all while they

Tried to hold us aloft 

Hidden amongst the faces

Endless variations of the same

Bound together and beholden 

Embedding deeper all the blame

Didn't it used to make sense

Getting caught up in all of it

Echoing back the phrases 

Take a seat and don't forget 

Strive until you break out

Make mistakes but never say

Attach your meaning to it

Lose yourself amidst the fray

Lie down just for awhile

Empty beds grow so small

Reach back through time, and let go of it all 

Air

To all my convictions swaying in the breeze 

I ask, "Will you not just let me go?"

But they were never ones to please -

They'd rather refuse to let me know

Anything for certain

Attempting to peek behind the curtain 

Has left me further in the dark

With endless shades of gray

On this twisting, winding way

Searching for a single candid spark

One small light to hold onto

That won't smother in my grasp

One thing that will remain true

That won't turn to dust in my clasp

As I wonder sporadically -

Do you actually love me

Or did you fall in love with me years ago

And just assume it's still true out of habit?

All these endless hairs I split

Trying simply to know

To all the knowledge I can't find

I ask, "Won't you let me be?"

But they'd rather let me lose my mind

Than give up anything for free

So I'll keep making rotations 

Cut right down to the foundations 

But it was always just a castle in the air

With no supports at all

All of life was made to fall

And get caught in endless splitting hair