Movement

17th birthday
Today I feel
Happy enough
Though a little unreal

There's a sense of disappointment
Because nothing's really changed
There's a ping of loss
Because somethings have been estranged

A feeling of worry
Of things changing in my life -
While I bemoan the sameness
A double-edged knife

A wondering feeling
Where did all the time go?
It left with speed
But the days felt slow

I have a deadly fear
Of being unprepared
I had a sinking feeling
That no one really cared

I have a questioning mind
That loves to learn
That searches for answers
And questions every turn

See, I'm not in a hurry -
I'm dragging my feet
But my legs keep running
There are expectations they must meet

It is those three things -
My fear, mind, and legs -
That make me seem in a hurry
Though I'm walking on eggs

I'm in no rush to be older
I'd reschedule if I could
Each year I feel I've done less
Though all I needed to, I withstood

But I'm happy still
Reading this, you might not get why
For a smile is harder to form into words
Than fears, cold and dry

I'm proud of my 16th year
I did pretty well
I may not have soared among stars
But I also never fell

Growing older is hard
And I feel with age I should improve
I push myself a lot
And get mad when I don't move

I doubt I'll ever have a birthday
Where I don't feel I've wasted time
But neither will there ever be a day
Where I don't smile at these silly things I rhyme