Phases

I want to start at the end

Can't get anything wrong that way

All the energy we spend

No longer wondering if we waste it every day 

Taking each step backwards 

Having nothing to run towards

Endings don't require 

Labored anxieties or thought 

Petrified notions all for naught 

Feeding off the memories of a fire

Reaching until even we expire

Or maybe we'll start in the middle 

Making mistakes nonetheless 

All my thumbs can do is twiddle 

Still waiting for someone to confess 

Kindly, before this turns into a memory 

If you're feeling lonely, please just tell me

Never believing this could last 

Going out to watch the sun set 

All I wonder is, are you bored yet?

Reasons to smile fading so fast

Each novelty slipping into the past 

Yet we must have begun at the beginning 

Once more worrying how it may end 

Universes go on spinning 

Blind to all the tears and energy we spend 

Or how we struggle day by day

Realizing we may not be going the right way

Endings don't need

Days spent arguing in my head 

Yearning for things you never said 

Empty of memories that might feed

The love that's trickling to a slow bleed

Always Hard[ly] Aging

We have reached some boring middle years 

The young twenties, you might say

When exact age hardly matters

And nothing changes day by day

Perhaps I'm doing it all wrong

These years shouldn't be wasted, so I'm told 

But I had no milestones this year

And it's got me feeling rather old 

How can I see movement 

With grades and graduations all forgot?

How can I measure my success

When ways to measure I have naught?

It's not really been a boring year

And there's been movement, I should know

I'm just not always good at

Giving myself time and space to grow

There are more steps to take in life

But they weren't for stepping this past year 

Twenty-one was for building 

All I have with me here

Building savings, building credit

Building experience - building me

A twenty-two year long project 

Is it yet finished?  Hardly!

I've hardly aged since last year

Still battling the marks on my face

Yet it's been a hard time aging

Always trying to find my place 

So have we reached some boring middle years?

It might sometimes feel that way

But life needn't rush so -

I'll enjoy what's here today

Nothing More

I will repeat once more

Thousands of things said millions of times before

I'll hold them like they're mine alone

Still blind to all we could have known

All that's left is here and now

Lines traced across their furrowed brow

Lost to time, it slips way

All that's left, none will stay

Let me forget, just for awhile 

Onward always to the next mile 

Take each step with great care 

Only pause to trace gray through my hair 

Fortune favors none at all

Night will fade, eternity fall

Opening the cracks in our skin

Night will fade, eternity begin

Still blind to all the possibilities 

Echoing through our boasts and pleas  

Never to have a final encore

Saying thousands of things millions of times before 

Eternity is left - nothing more

All But Wrecked

Why doth we go in circles

How might we get out

Answers falling silent

Tremors shaking us with doubt

I don't want your explanations

Forgotten excuses falling short

I don't want to argue

Tearing down every last retort 

Drowning now in sorrow 

Or something in between 

Emotions and apathy

Saying all but what I mean

Negating once again 

Our conflicting memories 

Tear and stitch the pieces 

Forgiving all but these -

Everlasting hurts 

Every moment of neglect 

Lost and out of sight 

Touched once and all but wrecked 

How might we ever get out

Endless circles we pursue 

Why can't I ever break free 

Absolve myself of you 

You who were supposed to hold me

I who was supposed to feel 

Tender love and affection 

Still making my appeal -

How do I ever get out

Only, why do I even stay

Untie all the tethers 

Leading me this way -

Don't, and allow all of life to fray 

Only An Octet

For lack of anything better to do -

For the sake of my spinning head

For the chance to find a better view 

For consolation when I'm dead

I'll try to write something new

Something I've never said

Write it all in spite of you

Or give it all to you instead

Eight years now, and they ask me why -

As if I could just quit

Eight years gone, still I try

To make something they won't forget

No matter what, life will pass me by

Why shouldn't I spend it

On all these words thrown at the sky

My dear, I know - it's only an octet 

Only and perpetually just poetry

Thrown against the page

Matters not to anyone but me

If my thoughts won't cease to rage 

They swirl and swarm incessantly 

Though I trap them in this cage

Is it worth the time to stop and see -

Alas, that's not for me to gauge

But for lack of anything better to do

For the sake of my wandering soul

For the chance to find a different view

As a way to challenge or console 

I'll try to write something new

Something to make me whole 

Write it all just for you

Or just for you to pass by as you scroll