Dawn

Such a strange mix of emotions

I can't sort them out

To translate into words

That'll let anyone know what I'm talking about

Other's words work better

Mine just don't fit

Because "all I do is get over you

And I'm still so bad at it"

I just keep scribbling out sentences

None of them are quite right

I keep convincing myself I'm fine

But I don't really sleep at night

Yet I can't shake this feeling

That everything will be okay

That it all was necessary and worth it

And, despite what some may say -

You were worth the struggle

And all the heartache

Just for a moment, we were meant for each other

And I can't view any of it as a mistake

That's why the emotions are so confusing 

I hurt so much, and not at all

It's not a numbness or an apathy

Just a tidal wave of thought through which I fall

"And it shall never end

For when we return to the dust we are

The love we shared will be sung

For all the endless ages to come by every star

And if we meet once again

We'll take up the song so long forgone

To sing of bliss forevermore"

But the stars fade with the dawn

I know I shouldn't think of you anymore

But I still worry about you, dear

I've always wanted you to be happy

Much more than I've needed you here

And I know I shouldn't write about you anymore

And should really try not to care

But I still listen to your playlists

And, partly just to spite you, I chopped off all my hair

You left a bookmark in one of my books

And a five year plan in my journal

And I don't know what to do with them

Harder still are the remnants that are internal

But everything returns to dust, so "that is all for the moment

Until next time - until then, do not worry"

Take a deep breath, let it go, and watch it all fade

As the first light of dawn reaches out to warm me