Weak Link

So quiet
Too quiet
Can't hear myself think
There's a ringing
In my ears
That just won't shrink
I hold my tongue
For if I don't
I sink
I ruin
Everything
For I'm the weak link

There's a face
In the window
That is me
But I don't
Recognize it
For inside I look differently
I turn away
For I don't
Want to see
For when
I do
I'm filled with such vanity

People say
It's the inside
That's important
Yet still everyone tries
To fix their shells
With such intent
And no one cares
To fix their souls
It's all so bent
I know this yet still
I worry over my shell
And worry not when my morality is spent

I need
Outside noise
So my thoughts will shrink
In the silence
My thoughts are so loud
I can't think
I need to keep away
From my reflection
But I can't blink
In a world
Full of differences
Weakness is our link

There's beauty
To be found
In the simplest things
So much beauty
In a blossom
Yet we'd rather have rings
So much beauty
In a simple life
Yet we'd rather be kings
So much beauty
From time
Yet we cringe as the pendulum swings

We use makeup
To look younger
Or to look older
In our vanity
We yearn to grow
Bolder
But all it does
Is make us grow
Colder
For with such cover up
How can we show ourselves
And not simply shrug a shoulder?

Just enough noise now
To finally manage
To think
I break away momentarily
From my loud thoughts and
Insecurities that won't permanently shrink
I walk away from the glass
But still do not manage,
with my mind's eye, to blink
My last loud thought is -
Will we ever break the weak
And start a new, stronger link?

Choosing Okay

You can try to change me
You can try to hurt me
You can try to pull everything away

You can try to shake me
Maybe even break me
But here is where I stay

You can try to knock me down
You can try to make me frown
But I'm not leaving here today

You can turn against me the whole town
In my tears try to make me drown
But I'll still be okay


Because I'm bulletproof
Maybe a bit too aloof
And you can go ahead and try to make me pay

But you can't make me goof
My heart is shatterproof
And I won't die down and lay

Not gonna lay down and die
Not gonna let you make me cry
You can't ruin my day

I'm made of thicker stuff, no lie
You can go ahead and deny
But I think you know - You can't make my sky gray


You can pull everything apart
Maybe even break my heart
But I decide what I do here today

You can shoot me with poison dart
But your hateful words can't make me depart
Unless I don't act the best way

I will decide
Whether I give in to hate or pride
You don't choose what I say

In my life I have lied
And, oh, how I've cried
But right now in this moment - I choose to be okay

My Soul Evoked

Come weep with the willows
And stand firm with the oaks
Come lay bare your soul
As nature evokes

Leaves fall like tears
As they die away
Their death brings us beauty
To behold here today

Blossoms give us fragrance
As they come in bloom
Beauty in a moment
Then they retire to their tomb

Stand firm, sweet willows
And weep, strong oaks
They shall lay bare their souls
As nature evokes

There is beauty in death
And beauty in life
But you may not see it
For it hides beneath tears and strife

It all seems a contradiction
This beauty hidden in tears
But courage comes only
When there are fears

So come weep and sing with the willows
Come stand firm and dance with the oaks
I shall lay bare my soul
As nature evokes

Life's Scale

I'm chasing after fame
Stuck playing this stupid, stupid game
It all feels the same
The world is trying to maim
My heart, which they cannot tame

This world is ripping me apart
Tempting me with poison tart
Trying to tame my lion heart
I can't end it, can't even start

No one is truly my friend
I can't find the end
Can't find a way to heal, to mend

Is any of this real?
Or, if I tried, would it all just rip away, just peal?

I don't know how to stop my life from fraying

It all falls away with a single blow
And I have nowhere left to go

None of it is fair
Why does no one ever care?
Can I get away, if I dare?

I have no reason to stay
Nothing ever goes my way
And I'm just not okay
I feel I die some every day

I wish I could just fly
Get away from everything that makes me cry
If it means my happiness, then it's worth a try
The life written for me I can defy
These fraying ends I will learn to tie

Shine

I see your eyes when ours meet
Their cold intenseness makes my heart skip a beat
Is it like that for you when you glance mine?
Do you think my eyes sparkle and shine?
What is it you see
That makes you want to look at me?
Out of everyone around, why think me the best?
Is it only my physical aspects that peak your interest
Or can you see passed all that?
Ha.  The lie I'm telling myself is getting rather fat
For how could it be when we've never even spoke?
I seem to be playing myself a big fat joke

But why do you never approach, why do you only stare?
And why do you look when you don't seem to care?
I'm turning into a person I'd never thought I'd be
A person who needs someone else in order to be happy
On days you don't look, I wonder what I've done wrong
And I used to think myself so independent and strong
Yet now my smile so easily falls
And I get scared, surrounded by these walls
I've turned into a person I never wanted to be
Oh, you devil, stop looking at me!
But I'm already ensnared, it's already too late
I do not know how to escape my fate

You smile at me and I melt inside
You've said nothing, but still you have lied
Your eyes told of love, of dazzling grace
Understanding and forgiveness were written on your face
Yet all you have done is make me weak
And inside my well of morality there's sprung a leak
You approach and the last drop of it runs out
You take my hand and I have no strength to shout
You stroke my cheek, then press your lips to mine
And I know my eyes no longer sparkle and shine
With the joy and innocence that they used to show
I want to scream it, but can just barely pull away and whisper "No."

You frown in confusion, then go to kiss me again
I dodge your lips, turned pale and thin
"No," I say, louder this time
You finally speak, saying, "But you've already committed the crime."
But that does not mean I have a right to commit it once more
It does not mean I have no chance of swimming back to shore
It does not mean I can't try to get back my strong core
It does not mean I can't turn around and walk back out that door
So I turn and leave, my morality awoken
Because now I am damaged, but I am not broken
And damaged does not mean I'm not worth anything
Damaged does not mean I no longer deserve a king

It does not mean my heart cannot sing
It does not mean I can never wear a wedding ring
It just means that, once, I fell
It just means I've learned how to keep full my morality well
It just means that, for a time, I was wrong
But that just means that now I am once again strong
Because, yes, I fell, but I rose again
I climbed back up and repented from my sin
I am damaged, but I can also be fine
Because once again joy can be mine
Because my past mistakes do not define
Me, nor my eyes that once again shine