How to deal with the endless sense of nothingness?
I lie on my bedroom floor, staring at the light fixture
From it hangs an art project I made years ago
It still hangs
But for how long?
How to deal with the ceaseless ebbing of life?
Writing this, my pen runs out of ink
I toss it, get a new one
Low and behold
It runs out too
And I throw it away, get number three
How many words had I written with it?
How many things did it help me say?
And I throw it out
Annoyed it didn't last another day
How to deal with the feeling that I'm a cliche?
"Oh, another nobody blogger
An unpublished poetry writer
Screaming at an unamused world"
"Oh, it's another teenager
Who thinks that they're so different
And feel so much harder
Thinking so much deeper
You'll be okay, cliche teenager"
How to deal with the judgments of the world?
The endless cries of be better
The cover up of - You're fine the way you are, BUT -
What are they trying to gain?
Make us all the same?
How to deal with the judgments of me?
I don't think I'm good enough, see
Write better, write more -
See these people? They're better, they work harder, they -
Get better, get better!
Get smarter, be faster, be stronger, be braver, be prettier, be -
How to deal with the endless words
Pouring from my heart, my mind, my spirit, my pen - ?
Vomit it onto the page
But it still sticks to my soul
The nagging voice, the hurtful sneers -
Vomit it, vomit it, and say it's not mine
This started as a letter to the rushing days -
But then two pens lost their ink
And the third won't stop vomiting
'Tis unedited vomit
As opposed to my normal revised posts
Where I take out some things - things too close to me
Unedited Vomit
Because today I feel slightly less sane than usual
Probably it's my iron deficiency - when I don't eat enough iron I get lethargic
Or perhaps I get lethargic when I've had an iffy day
But don't want to blame my mental state on . . . my mental state
And so blame IRON -
I feel I'm
Running so hard,
Onward towards
Nothing in particular . . .
I lie on my bedroom floor, staring at the light fixture
From it hangs an art project I made years ago
It still hangs
But for how long?
How to deal with the ceaseless ebbing of life?
Writing this, my pen runs out of ink
I toss it, get a new one
Low and behold
It runs out too
And I throw it away, get number three
How many words had I written with it?
How many things did it help me say?
And I throw it out
Annoyed it didn't last another day
How to deal with the feeling that I'm a cliche?
"Oh, another nobody blogger
An unpublished poetry writer
Screaming at an unamused world"
"Oh, it's another teenager
Who thinks that they're so different
And feel so much harder
Thinking so much deeper
You'll be okay, cliche teenager"
How to deal with the judgments of the world?
The endless cries of be better
The cover up of - You're fine the way you are, BUT -
What are they trying to gain?
Make us all the same?
How to deal with the judgments of me?
I don't think I'm good enough, see
Write better, write more -
See these people? They're better, they work harder, they -
Get better, get better!
Get smarter, be faster, be stronger, be braver, be prettier, be -
How to deal with the endless words
Pouring from my heart, my mind, my spirit, my pen - ?
Vomit it onto the page
But it still sticks to my soul
The nagging voice, the hurtful sneers -
Vomit it, vomit it, and say it's not mine
This started as a letter to the rushing days -
But then two pens lost their ink
And the third won't stop vomiting
'Tis unedited vomit
As opposed to my normal revised posts
Where I take out some things - things too close to me
Unedited Vomit
Because today I feel slightly less sane than usual
Probably it's my iron deficiency - when I don't eat enough iron I get lethargic
Or perhaps I get lethargic when I've had an iffy day
But don't want to blame my mental state on . . . my mental state
And so blame IRON -
I feel I'm
Running so hard,
Onward towards
Nothing in particular . . .
Wow!
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