Love Lacked

I locked myself in my room just to see if I'd be missed
Put on lipstick just to see if I'd be kissed
Went to you just to get a dismiss
Started climbing just to fall back into the abyss

Couldn't pay the bill because I got mugged
Couldn't taste the vodka because I chugged
Couldn't stay standing because you had to tug
Couldn't get away because you had me trapped in a hug

I smiled and you didn't care that it was faked
I gave you an icy stare and you hit me until it was thawed and baked
I got a job and the money from it you take
I followed in your footsteps and cower in your wake

Couldn't stand up to you because my words choked
Couldn't taste the food because I smoked
Couldn't laugh because you couldn't take a joke
Couldn't care because my heart broke

I broke the TV just because of how much you played
Came home late just because it hadn't been okayed
Stole your laptop just to make you pay
Caused you so much trouble just so you wouldn't chase after me when I ran away

Couldn't stay because I got flogged
Couldn't take anything with me because of how much you hogged
Couldn't run because my legs had been beaten and so took off at a jog
Couldn't care less because I needed to disappear into the fog

I ran away to find the love that you lacked
Went far away and here is a fact
Even if you chase after me and promise that you'll no longer thwack
Even then I am never coming back