Words

My words sound better coming from my hands -

They fly
They soar
They sing
They dance

And they glide

They're beautiful, when told by my hands    

But told by my mouth

They're grotesque -

They fall

They fail

They hurt

They slip

And they die

So reading what I say

You may think you know me

You may think I'm

Deep

Wise

Understanding

Magical 

Beautiful . . .

And listening to what I say

You may think you know me

You may think I'm

Blunt

Babbling

Unsympathetic

Pessimistic

Grotesque . . .                                 

In reality I am neither of these people

And also both -

Deep and blunt

Wise and babbling

Understanding and unsympathetic

Magical and pessimistic

And beautifully grotesque

I fly and I fall

I soar and I fail

I sing and I hurt

I dance and I slip

I glide and I die

None of this is literal

This literature I'm writing

And to you

I may sound quite inviting

For you are hearing this all from my hands

And, well, the first line I wrote here still stands

Bad Wolf

A foul taste in my mouth
At the very back of my throat
Everyone hath gone away
No one was devote

Grinding teeth, such a noise
From such pearly whites
Glinting eyes, dripping tongue
They cometh most all nights

The big bad wolf bloweth down
My pride and confidence
Doctor giveth pills to construct
But wolf downs my fence

The red eyes of the damned
Wolf hath eaten my sleep
Doctor maketh promises
But still the wolf doth creep

It stalketh me wherever I go
No escape in sight
I run all day without fail
But they still find me in the night

Those greedy eyes, so judgment filled
Hungry to dismiss
My emotions, worries, fears
And tell me its all bliss

Those dripping teeth, mouth full of lies
Say their life's much worse
Focus on me, is what they say
Surely we're the ones with the curse

Those twitchy ears hear so much
But listen they do not
I try to make them understand
But their empathy is shot

Care for me, I beg the world
But no wolf will heed
The desperate shouts, the vicious tears
They want to see me bleed

Instead each wolf screams, "Care for me!
For I'm much more important than you!"
I hear their cries, but listen not
For I'm a bad wolf too

My Little Brother

My little brother is: A Pill
He never thinks of others and always takes his fill
He's lazy, immature, and all around a pain
He's always trying to swindle others for his own gain
He thinks I'm bossy, rude, and the type of person who always thinks they're right
We often make each other mad and we always seem to fight

My little brother is: My Friend
We'll stick together till the very end
I listen to him, and him to me
When one is sad the other tries to make them happy
We can sit and talk for hours, for each other we'll always be there
Even if we get in each other's hair

My little brother is: A Hassle
When we were small he'd always topple my block castle
I'm constantly stressing and worrying about him
Afraid he'll be hurt, whether emotionally or by breaking a limb
I try to shield and protect, but he gets angry when I do
I often try to parent him, so he thinks I'm a hassle too

My little brother is: Just That
We disagree like dog and cat
We're worst enemies and best of friends
How we act towards each other every day differs and depends
We fight, we laugh, we yell, we listen, and we tease each other
And I know I'll always love my little brother

Blind Wisdom

I'm no natural
None of this comes easy
I'm no perfect girl
That's just not me
You think my words flow
So simply from my mind
You think I find it easy
To obey the rules, blind

But you aren't here for my struggles
You don't see when things go wrong
You don't notice
When my morality isn't strong
You don't understand
The tornado inside
You don't realize
All the times I have lied

It isn't real
These things that I write
You think they're me
But they're not quite
I try to find myself in these words
But I'm never completely there
The words hide me
The sentences tear

It's all a lie, you know
That is what I do
But my lies are so pretty
That even I think they're true
Trying to sort out
The truths from the lies
Is impossible
For each word denies

Can you help me understand?
Tell me, am I false?
Is everything about me a lie?
Do I even truly have a pulse?
None of it makes sense
None of it rings true
Up is down
Red is blue

And it all just keeps going
None of it ever ends
The bold cry in silence
While the coward defends
The honest lie
The sad smile
I pour out my heart
And I'm lying all the while

Complete honesty?
No; I must save face
Blunt the sword
Poison the lace
Beautify the ugly
And damage the good
I don't know how to stop
But would I, if I could?

For these words
With beauty and grace
Make people feel
And think to question the lace
Is it so bad
To fictionalize my soul?
To make everything lovely
Or more horrid than coal?

Is it so bad
To want to paint myself a thing of wisdom?
Is it so bad
To want to build myself a protective kingdom?
Answer me honestly
Tell me what you think
For I am not a thing of wisdom
And I need someone to make my list of questions shrink

So what do you say?
What is the answer?
Do tell me if you know
But only if you're sure

Weak Link

So quiet
Too quiet
Can't hear myself think
There's a ringing
In my ears
That just won't shrink
I hold my tongue
For if I don't
I sink
I ruin
Everything
For I'm the weak link

There's a face
In the window
That is me
But I don't
Recognize it
For inside I look differently
I turn away
For I don't
Want to see
For when
I do
I'm filled with such vanity

People say
It's the inside
That's important
Yet still everyone tries
To fix their shells
With such intent
And no one cares
To fix their souls
It's all so bent
I know this yet still
I worry over my shell
And worry not when my morality is spent

I need
Outside noise
So my thoughts will shrink
In the silence
My thoughts are so loud
I can't think
I need to keep away
From my reflection
But I can't blink
In a world
Full of differences
Weakness is our link

There's beauty
To be found
In the simplest things
So much beauty
In a blossom
Yet we'd rather have rings
So much beauty
In a simple life
Yet we'd rather be kings
So much beauty
From time
Yet we cringe as the pendulum swings

We use makeup
To look younger
Or to look older
In our vanity
We yearn to grow
Bolder
But all it does
Is make us grow
Colder
For with such cover up
How can we show ourselves
And not simply shrug a shoulder?

Just enough noise now
To finally manage
To think
I break away momentarily
From my loud thoughts and
Insecurities that won't permanently shrink
I walk away from the glass
But still do not manage,
with my mind's eye, to blink
My last loud thought is -
Will we ever break the weak
And start a new, stronger link?

Choosing Okay

You can try to change me
You can try to hurt me
You can try to pull everything away

You can try to shake me
Maybe even break me
But here is where I stay

You can try to knock me down
You can try to make me frown
But I'm not leaving here today

You can turn against me the whole town
In my tears try to make me drown
But I'll still be okay


Because I'm bulletproof
Maybe a bit too aloof
And you can go ahead and try to make me pay

But you can't make me goof
My heart is shatterproof
And I won't die down and lay

Not gonna lay down and die
Not gonna let you make me cry
You can't ruin my day

I'm made of thicker stuff, no lie
You can go ahead and deny
But I think you know - You can't make my sky gray


You can pull everything apart
Maybe even break my heart
But I decide what I do here today

You can shoot me with poison dart
But your hateful words can't make me depart
Unless I don't act the best way

I will decide
Whether I give in to hate or pride
You don't choose what I say

In my life I have lied
And, oh, how I've cried
But right now in this moment - I choose to be okay

My Soul Evoked

Come weep with the willows
And stand firm with the oaks
Come lay bare your soul
As nature evokes

Leaves fall like tears
As they die away
Their death brings us beauty
To behold here today

Blossoms give us fragrance
As they come in bloom
Beauty in a moment
Then they retire to their tomb

Stand firm, sweet willows
And weep, strong oaks
They shall lay bare their souls
As nature evokes

There is beauty in death
And beauty in life
But you may not see it
For it hides beneath tears and strife

It all seems a contradiction
This beauty hidden in tears
But courage comes only
When there are fears

So come weep and sing with the willows
Come stand firm and dance with the oaks
I shall lay bare my soul
As nature evokes

Life's Scale

I'm chasing after fame
Stuck playing this stupid, stupid game
It all feels the same
The world is trying to maim
My heart, which they cannot tame

This world is ripping me apart
Tempting me with poison tart
Trying to tame my lion heart
I can't end it, can't even start

No one is truly my friend
I can't find the end
Can't find a way to heal, to mend

Is any of this real?
Or, if I tried, would it all just rip away, just peal?

I don't know how to stop my life from fraying

It all falls away with a single blow
And I have nowhere left to go

None of it is fair
Why does no one ever care?
Can I get away, if I dare?

I have no reason to stay
Nothing ever goes my way
And I'm just not okay
I feel I die some every day

I wish I could just fly
Get away from everything that makes me cry
If it means my happiness, then it's worth a try
The life written for me I can defy
These fraying ends I will learn to tie

Shine

I see your eyes when ours meet
Their cold intenseness makes my heart skip a beat
Is it like that for you when you glance mine?
Do you think my eyes sparkle and shine?
What is it you see
That makes you want to look at me?
Out of everyone around, why think me the best?
Is it only my physical aspects that peak your interest
Or can you see passed all that?
Ha.  The lie I'm telling myself is getting rather fat
For how could it be when we've never even spoke?
I seem to be playing myself a big fat joke

But why do you never approach, why do you only stare?
And why do you look when you don't seem to care?
I'm turning into a person I'd never thought I'd be
A person who needs someone else in order to be happy
On days you don't look, I wonder what I've done wrong
And I used to think myself so independent and strong
Yet now my smile so easily falls
And I get scared, surrounded by these walls
I've turned into a person I never wanted to be
Oh, you devil, stop looking at me!
But I'm already ensnared, it's already too late
I do not know how to escape my fate

You smile at me and I melt inside
You've said nothing, but still you have lied
Your eyes told of love, of dazzling grace
Understanding and forgiveness were written on your face
Yet all you have done is make me weak
And inside my well of morality there's sprung a leak
You approach and the last drop of it runs out
You take my hand and I have no strength to shout
You stroke my cheek, then press your lips to mine
And I know my eyes no longer sparkle and shine
With the joy and innocence that they used to show
I want to scream it, but can just barely pull away and whisper "No."

You frown in confusion, then go to kiss me again
I dodge your lips, turned pale and thin
"No," I say, louder this time
You finally speak, saying, "But you've already committed the crime."
But that does not mean I have a right to commit it once more
It does not mean I have no chance of swimming back to shore
It does not mean I can't try to get back my strong core
It does not mean I can't turn around and walk back out that door
So I turn and leave, my morality awoken
Because now I am damaged, but I am not broken
And damaged does not mean I'm not worth anything
Damaged does not mean I no longer deserve a king

It does not mean my heart cannot sing
It does not mean I can never wear a wedding ring
It just means that, once, I fell
It just means I've learned how to keep full my morality well
It just means that, for a time, I was wrong
But that just means that now I am once again strong
Because, yes, I fell, but I rose again
I climbed back up and repented from my sin
I am damaged, but I can also be fine
Because once again joy can be mine
Because my past mistakes do not define
Me, nor my eyes that once again shine 

Up To You

Look
Notice
Listen
Confess
You have eyes
You have ears
You have strengths
And you have fears

Stand up
Hold your head high
Take a deep breath
Let yourself cry
You have emotions
You can feel
You can face
What is real

Don't hide from life
Learn when to stay
Stand proud
You'll be okay
Listen and heed
But know you have a choice
Learn to sometimes hold your tongue
But know you have a voice

Sometimes talk
Other times hold
Listen politely
And be bold
It's all so confusing
It's all such a mess
But you'll be fine
As long as you learn and notice

Notice that others
Are struggling too
Notice how often
A smile is blue
Notice and
Don't spend every minute on your phone
Notice that
You are not alone

Learn that
You are worth it
Learn when
To hold on or forget
Learn to
Hold your head high
Learn that
They have no right to make you cry

Forgive
Or hold a grudge
Give a push
Or a gentle nudge
Make a choice
It's up to you
Just remember
To always be true

Ghosts

Last night I saw a ghost
Of a place that used to be
You know, it drove away the sun
But we still had light to see

Memories flash through my head
Of this place that haunts my dreams
I try to grab a hold of them
But they all tear at the seams

It all falls apart in my hands
My dreams and memories
They vanish in the darkness
They blow away in the breeze

And I am left here alone
Nothing but a ghost
A ghost of who I used to be
The one who felt the most

I felt too much
And it broke me
I wanted you all so much
But had to break free

Today I saw a ghost
Of a broken family
You know, they drove away their son
The son I used to be

I remember the days before things went wrong
We were all so happy
Everything was good, back then . . .
Did things go wrong because of me?

Everything turned sour
You and mom began to fight
You disappeared most days
You squished out our light

Later mom would say
That you both had worked things out
Yet things were never the same
Why did you always have to shout?

I heard people tell you both -
"Stay together for the kids"
But what was the use
When staying together put our happiness on skids?

Every night I'd see a ghost
Of a happy family
And one day I could no longer take it
Did you ever come after me?

I ran away much too young
So many years ago today . . .
I haven't seen any of you since
Was I right to go away?

Soon I will see a ghost
Of a place that used to be
I don't know what I will find there
But what I'm looking for is me

For You, For Me

Some people like to ask -
"Why is it you write?"
And for a moment when they do
I think of taking flight
For how am I to answer?
How do I explain?
Why it is I choose
To show all the world my pain?
Why I lay bare my soul
For everyone to see
Why I do this for them
And, even more so, for me

But then they ask again -
"Why is it you write?"
So I pause to think and say -
"It is the only way I know how to fight
It is my only defense
Against a darkness called Me
It is the only way
I know how to be free
It is my escape
And it is my cage
It is my happiness
And it is my rage."

"We don't understand," they say -
"Tell us truly why you write."
And I tell them -
"So I can shine a light
I tell you all of strength
So I can inspire
I show you people's worth
So I might get what I desire
I desire knowledge
To know the world is moral, kind, and true
And in order to convince myself of it
I must first convince you.

I write to find the truth
And always discover more than one
I write to experience magic
And to prove that there is none
I am my own contradiction
I am both the protagonist and antagonist who writes
I write to prove there can be happily ever after's
And that there's no such thing, nor fairies or knights
I write to show that the world is beautiful
But also that it's grotesque
Some people shout their opinions from the rooftops
But I prefer to sit quietly at my writing desk

I sit, find what I think, contradict myself
And somehow prove to the world I'm right
I try to inspire everyone, myself included, to think
And that is why I write."

Cold Gold

What if
The sun set
In the east?
What if
The homeless man on the corner
Had money enough for a feast?
What if
The handsome prince
Was truly a horrid beast?

What if
The stars came out
During the day?
What if
The smiling person
Wasn't truly okay?
What if
We all stopped saying
'Maybe someday'?

What if
The sun rose
In the west?
What if
The homely peasant
Was the hero for this quest?
What if
Good people
Were put under arrest?

What if
The sun came out
At night?
What if
Fish
Could take flight?
What if
Everything would truly
Turn out all right?

What if
We just turned everything
On it's head?
They say the handsome are good
But what if
The living were dead?
For these rules don't apply
When the outside layer
Is shed

Inside are you
A handsome prince
With a heart of gold?
Or a grotesque villain
With a heart
So cold?
And could I believe you
If you
Told?

A horrid beast
Could lie behind
The mask
Or a brave soul
Strong enough
For this task
The world is
A question
You just have to ask

Happy Father's Day, Dad

This is just to thank you

       For all the Hard times you've seen me through

                  For All the times you've helped me grow
                         Partly for all the times you've told me no
         But more Probably for the times you've said yes
   For the times You've helped me clean up my mess

             For the Family you help keep intact
             For the Anger that in bad times you lacked
             For the Truths that you help me see
             For the Help you're always willing to give to me
             For the Ease with which you correct
           For your Readiness to protect
             For the Starlight you see in me

It's just for you, Daddy
                   For All the memories that will always last
             For the Years to come, and for the years past

                          Day
                          After
                          Day for you I am glad
                                 So Happy Fathers day, dad

From - Your Little Soldier Boy (#2)

Dear Mother,
     I know in my last letter I said I'd be back home before long
And I'm sorry to say it, but it turns out I was wrong
     The reason for that is...Well, it's hard for me to say
But the thing is, mother...I'm not okay
     The truth of the matter is that I am a coward
Because I froze when the bullets showered
     Because with much fear your name I cried
Even though it is to you I have lied...

     I've often written you and only spoken of
Returning home, my bravery, and light things, with love
     Truth is: There are no light things here
Truth is: I'm a coward who only knows fear
     Truth is...I can never come back home, mother
Truth is: This is the last letter you'll get from me; there can't be another

     So tell father I love him, and tell him I'm sorry
And please...Please try and find a way to forgive me
     Tell him of the brave people around me, practically all
Tell him that with courage many men fall
     What he doesn't need to be told is that, in my last fight, I never once fired
What he doesn't need to be told is that with fear I was inspired
     With fear in my heart I sit, frozen I stare
At the bullet whizzing towards me without a care
     Time slows, and as I watch I compose this letter in my head
And then my time is up and I drop down dead


( From - Your Little Soldier Boy (#1) )

The End Of Forever

It is not hard
To think of life
Going on and on
Nothing changing
Always the same
Everyday
Week
Month
Year
Routine
The same day
Over and over
It is not hard
To imagine
Never growing
Older
Always being
Fourteen forever
Never aging
Never changing
Never worrying
About the future
A future of
Work
And marriage
Children
And choices

It is hard
And it is scary
To think of aging
Of changing
Of life
Moving on
Until death
Claims me
Forever
I can't think of falling
Asleep and never
Waking again
I can't imagine
Life
Time
Thoughts
Stopping
Forever
But someday
It will
I don't know how
To cope
Prepare
Accept
My fate
My future
My end
How can I?

It is hard
Because life
Won't go on and on
Never changing
Our routines
Alter
Our habits
Transform
Our days
Blend
Gone
So fast
And suddenly
There's no time left
To play around
Because now
You need a job
Now
You must get married
Now
Have kids
Now
Raise them
Now
Die

But still life
Continues on
Now I'm fifteen
A whole year gone
A whole year gained?
Maybe it's not so bad
To age
To change
To gain
Experience
And wisdom
And the sadness
Of one day
The fear
And the decay
All blend
With the happiness
And growth
Of the next
And vice versa
So that the happiness
Wished upon me
For my birthday
This year
Will stay with me
Forever
Until
My forever
Ends

Favors

Could I ask for a favor?
Just a little one?
Just a small wish
For you to put out the sun

There's so much evil in this world
How can good ever win?
So put out the sun
And destroy all the sin
It's the only way to triumph
Only way to get rid of the bad
Any good will sacrifice itself
And be glad

Won't it be better
If it all goes away?
No more pain
And no more May
No more good
No more bad
No more sane
No more mad

What's the world come to?
Nukes and bullets and blasts
All while the good
Just sits and prays and fasts
Why aren't the prayers answered?
Oh, won't you put out the sun?
People are slaughtered in the streets
For politics and fun

And it's not okay
And it's not all right
The good are too moral
To stand and fight
Oh, why won't they fight?
Why won't they stand?
Won't you help them up?
Send down your hand

Just do something, please
Lift us up or put us out already!
Though maybe not the second...
Just help us, lord of eternity
Lord my god, don't put out the sun
For not all is corrupt
And the world shouldn't end
So abrupt

Put out the evil
And let the good sun live
For it's not fair to kill the good to get the bad
Even if they're prepared to give
So let the sun flare
Use it to extinguish
None of the light
And all of the darkness

Use it to fight
And use it to heal
Our physical wounds
And the pain we all feel
Nourish the light
Encourage the fun
Heal the world, god
And please . . . never put out the sun

Spilled Ink

You are a pencil
That cannot erase
You leave your marks
Like tears on my face
I am a pen
That's run out of ink
Nothing to write
Nothing to think

You leave your marks on me
Bruises blue and black
You leave your marks on me
And I do nothing back
You leave your marks on me
What am I to do?
You leave your marks on me
And I leave nothing on you

Someday I'll find someone
Who'll only know how to erase
Who'll leave no marks
And dry my face
Someday I'll find someone
And then I'll make you go
Someday I'll find someone
Who won't sink me so low

Someday my ink'll be refurbished
But I will not leave hateful marks like you
My ink will be refurbished
And here's what I will do
I'll draw you out of my life
And draw somebody better in
I'll draw you out of my life
And find someone to erase your marks of sin

Because I am a pen
Who will find their ink
Because I am a pen
Who needs to say what they think
I am a pen
Who will no longer be left blue
I will live happily
Unmarked and without you

Swallowed Bliss

Words flow forth
From her lips
He slams the door
And the scale tips

Words and words
Harsh stern voices
Stumble on
Too many choices

Everyone's talking
Nobody's listening
Nobody sees
That my eyes are glistening

Meaningless words
Frugal action
Bumping along
So much traction

She held her tongue
For too long
Could hold it no longer
And the words burst forth wrong

Listen to me!
Listen please
But her words blow away
In the breeze

Listen now!
He'll say in frustration
But from listening
She'll take a vacation

Words go on
And then they split
Of the good times
They forget

I live with her
On the weekend with him
I try to talk
But can't get through to them

He finds someone else
And I know she'll follow
The words stick in my throat
Until I give up and swallow

Maybe someday
They'll get back together again
Maybe someday
We all can win

Maybe someday
I'll go to him and by her be followed
Maybe someday
My words won't have to be swallowed

Love Lacked

I locked myself in my room just to see if I'd be missed
Put on lipstick just to see if I'd be kissed
Went to you just to get a dismiss
Started climbing just to fall back into the abyss

Couldn't pay the bill because I got mugged
Couldn't taste the vodka because I chugged
Couldn't stay standing because you had to tug
Couldn't get away because you had me trapped in a hug

I smiled and you didn't care that it was faked
I gave you an icy stare and you hit me until it was thawed and baked
I got a job and the money from it you take
I followed in your footsteps and cower in your wake

Couldn't stand up to you because my words choked
Couldn't taste the food because I smoked
Couldn't laugh because you couldn't take a joke
Couldn't care because my heart broke

I broke the TV just because of how much you played
Came home late just because it hadn't been okayed
Stole your laptop just to make you pay
Caused you so much trouble just so you wouldn't chase after me when I ran away

Couldn't stay because I got flogged
Couldn't take anything with me because of how much you hogged
Couldn't run because my legs had been beaten and so took off at a jog
Couldn't care less because I needed to disappear into the fog

I ran away to find the love that you lacked
Went far away and here is a fact
Even if you chase after me and promise that you'll no longer thwack
Even then I am never coming back

Waves

Softly, gently, ebb and flow
Smile warmly, no where to go
Little raindrops falling on our heads
Watering our flowerbeds
Quiet tides rolling on the beach
"Come play with us," they beseech

Dripping and dropping, telling us that
It is raining dogs and cat
Big fat drops rolling down the roof
Soaking all that's not waterproof
Flooding, pushing, stirring the street
Yelling and chanting, "We won't be discreet!"

Thunder and lightning, a crash and a bang
Alarm bells ringing with a clang
Raining, icy drops biting our skin
The devil paying us back for our sin
Crashing waves tipping over a boat
"Don't you love the sea?" the waters quote

Slowly, slowly, the storm slips away
Promises of a better day
No more raindrops, not for now
The clouds leave us with a bow
Moods improve along with the sky
The water waves, "So long and goodbye."

A Time To Hang On

There is a time to build up
And not break down
There is a time to smile
Even if you want to frown
There is a time to stand against someone
And there is a time to stand together and heal
There is a time to look away
And a time to face what is real

There is a time to be strong
And a time to let yourself cry
There is a time to nod and accept
And a time to ask why
I'd thought it was my time to rise up
But instead I had to fall
I'd thought it was my time to win
But instead I lost it all

I tried to stand together
But I just couldn't heal
I tried to face the facts
But I didn't want to feel
I tried so hard to keep going
But instead I had to cry
I tried to accept defeat
But to the universe I demanded, "Why?"

I don't have enough strength
Don't know how to heal
Don't know how to keep smiling
When I see what is real
To heal and be happy
I have to move on but I'm stuck in one place
To be strong and face the truth
I have to accept that I'll never again see your face

But still I hang on to the memory of you
Wishing with all of my heart that you hadn't had to die
But still you do not come back to me
And I cry out to the universe, "Why?"
Nothing answers me
And so I blink back tears and look away
Nothing answers me
So I close my eyes, thankful that I have strength enough to hang on another day

Countdown Hero

Zero
Until I wake up and play superhero
One
Let's get some friends to have some fun
Two
I bet anything I can beat you
Three
Let's do two against me
Four
Now we've got an even score
Five
You're dead in the game, stop acting so alive
Six
Come on, we can put the other team in a fix
Seven
Maybe we'll make it up to eleven!
Eight
Why are you so late?
Nine
No don't go home, I'm sure you'll be fine...
Eight
She had to go home so she wouldn't be late
Seven
Too bad we haven't got eleven
Six
He had to go give his bike a fix
Five
She had to go feed her fish so they'd stay alive
Four
I can't remember - what's the score?
Three
Why's everyone going home except for me?
Two
So I guess it's just me and you
One
I guess we can all meet up again tomorrow for some more fun
Zero
Because now I've gone to bed, dreaming of being a hero

Fishing For Stars

Where are you going, little child?
Where are you taking your fishing pole in this weather so wild?
It's blizzarding out, cold as can be
Why don't you stay here by the fire with me?

   "I'm going out to catch a star
The wind from the blizzard will take my line far
I'll bring you home a wish if I catch a lucky one
And I'll tell you all about it when I'm home again and done."

But, child, in this weather the snowflakes make a crowd
The sky's so busy; what if your line can only catch a cloud?
Stay inside; there's no stars out tonight
Look out there; can you see any light?

   "The stars are there, you just have to search, explore
The sky is busy, but there's always room for one more
So what if I catch I cloud?  I can just recast
It may take a while, but there's no need to go fast."

Is a star really worth it?  Come, child, tell me
It's just a light; does it matter, truly?
Is it worth your time, effort, your cold casting finger?
Is it just a passing fancy, or will your wish for a star linger?

   "It's not a passing fancy; it's hope, a light in the rain
It's my dream, my life . . . I don't really know how to explain
But it's worth the time, effort, cold, and everything else, near and far
Now I must bid thee goodnight for, as you know, I am out to catch a star."

Courage

Step up
Don't look down
Hold your gaze
For you hold the crown
It's time to prove yourself
Time to show your worth
You've been waiting for this moment
Straight since birth

But now your knees are shaking
Now you feel lightheaded
But something keeps you standing
Determination in you is embedded
You take a step
Even though you're scared to death
You clench your fists to stop them shaking
And take a deep breath

You can do this
You know it to be true
You can fight your fear
And pull through
Your knuckles turn white
Your hearts beating at your chest
But on you stand
And try your best

What courage lies inside you?
What courage have we all?
Even when scared to death
We try our hardest not to fall
Fear can grip our hearts
And freeze us to the spot
But we can continue
To give it our best shot

Sometimes we won't succeed
Sometimes we'll fall down
Sometimes it's hard to get back up
Sometimes we need someone else to hold the crown
Sometimes panic wins
Sometimes it attacks
Sometimes we're too scared
To face all of the facts

But life continues on
And then we soon follow
We all end up facing down the truth
No matter how hard it is to swallow
And that's courage right there
Pushing through day by day
It takes courage to hold on
And courage to allow the loose ends to fray

How amazing is the human race?
Just how grand?
Because through all of life's trials
We continue to stand

Come What May

And will you still love me come summer time?
When spring has left, taking its beauty and rhyme
I need to know that through it all you'll stay
I need to know that you won't go away
When the hot days come and the season of love ends
Will you stay or will we have to part as friends?

And will you still love me come autumn day?
When clouds cover the sun and the leaves fall away
I need to know that for me you'll fight
I need to know everything will turn out all right
When the long days of summer have taken our leisurely hours and run
Will you stay with me?  Can we be one?

And will you still love me come the cold winter hours?
When the ground is covered and no longer flowers
Will you always love me, come what may?
Do you promise never to leave me?  Will you always stay?
When the beauty of autumn is covered in snow
Will you promise me or will you have to go?

And will you still love me come next spring?
When the cold has gone and flowers are king
I need you to promise you'll always be true
I need to be able to rely on you
When beautiful birds whistle the day away
Will you still love me?  Will you still stay?

A Penny's Worth Of Thoughts

Trade a dollar for a rose
And for a penny give a petal
The petal will wilt away
And leave you with nothing but metal
The dollar will tear
The rose will die
And the tears that wet your pillow
Will all someday dry

Right now the rose is vibrant with life
You can't imagine it wilting away
The dollar's so self righteous right now
But the penny's the only one who's likely to stay
Right now you want beauty so much
And you want to be thought strong
You want everyone to know your worth
And never tell you you're wrong

But in the end
When all of the beauty's withered away
When the self righteousness has run out
And the penny's the only thing to stay
You'll realize the penny's worth
The small but firm memories
The little everyday smiles
A soft gentle breeze

The people who could make you laugh
Before your tears could even dry
And even though you often made mistakes
Even though you sometimes had to cry
You know it all was worth it
And through it all you thrived
In the end you know you won
All because, like the penny, you survived

From - Your Little Soldier Boy (#1)

Dear Mother,
     I am grateful to be able to say
That after everything I've managed to stay okay
     I long for home, but at least I'm alive to long for it
Others are not as fortunate
     There's death in the very air I breathe, mother
At every days end I believe it impossible for me to last another
     Even if my body survives this war
death has settled at my very core
     It plagues my nightmares and haunts me during the day
And here I am saying that I'm still okay...

     I'm not okay, mother, I'm sorry, but I'm not
I want to be strong, but half the time I'm wishing to be shot
     I know I'm supposed to stay brave, and I'm trying so hard
But I feel as if I've played my last card
     I've run out of cards, run out of choices
I'm stuck listening to people who talk just to hear their own voices
     The courage in my heart has run out
I'm plagued with so much doubt...

     I don't know why I'm here anymore
It's all so pointless, this war
     But this isn't what you want to hear, is it?
You want to hear of my strength, not my wanting to forfeit
     So I suppose I'll just crinkle this letter up and start anew
The only similarities between this letter and the next the forever true
              signing off words of I love you

Alas

"I command you now;
Open this gate!"
Sorry, sir knight
But you're a little too late
The gate-man is gone
And the drawbridge is up
Nothing stirs
Not even a cup
Thorns cover the walls
And everything in sight
The king is fast asleep
Unable to fight
For we were cursed by a fairy
An evil one at that
And now the whole kingdom slumbers
Even the Queen's cat
The princess poked her finger
And now we must sleep for a hundred years
Or until true love's kiss comes
To wash away our tears

But the princess is so young
True love to her is just a dream
It's magic and romance
And stolen kisses beneath a moon beam
She thinks its late night balls
With princes and knights
She does not know of sacrifice
Or working through fights
She's been so busy running
And rushing around
Too busy trying to do everything
Too busy trying to get her feet off of the ground
She knew she'd prick her finger
Knew she'd have to sleep for many years
And so she tried to do everything before that could happen
Tried to master all her fears
Tried to have many adventures
And solve many a crime
But she did not try to find true love
For she figured it a waste of time

How could it be true love?
You've never even met her, sir knight
But still you'll climb the thorns
And with the evil fairy fight
You'll rush to her bedside
Thinking that after all you've done your love for her must be deep
You'll kiss her tenderly, but, alas, sir knight
Still we all shall sleep