Nightmares and Day Scares

There's a voice in the air
Crying out for someone to care
"Are you there?"

Can you hear the voice ringing out?
Sometimes a whisper, sometimes a shout?
"Help me out."

I can feel their pain
I cry their tears of rain
"Take away the pain."

The voices come and whisper in my ear
There's so much fear
"Don't leave me here."

How can I help? What can I do?
Where are you?
"Are you a liar too?"

I go forward but fall down
Down, down, down
"Now who wears the crown?"

All around me dark things roam
I want to go home
"Forever you'll be trapped in our dome."

I call for help, but feel such doubt
How can I make it out?
"No one can hear you shout."

I collapse in pain
Acid rain
"With life what can you gain?"

I beg and plead
As I start to bleed
"Do you want to be freed?"

A knife digs into my heart
And then me and my dream part
I wake with a start

No darkness, no rain
No voices, no pain
Am I going insane?

Just a soft warm bed
A place to rest my head
I haven't bled?

Everything's all right, I find
Am I losing my mind?
No voices that aren't kind?

Ever so slowly I lie down again
Will I ever win?
Why must I have these dreams again and again?

I feel as though I'm trapped in a cage
War is what my nightmares wage
With a voice or a ghost or a witch or a mage

They trap me in my fear
At me they all leer
I'm all alone here

'Make them leave,' I pray
I whisper, "Just go away,"
And maybe they will . . . someday.

Land

Do you ever feel sort of . . . dead?
Like everything's just in your head?
Like your own skin you've shed?

Like your heart has shattered and won't go back together again
and you always lose but never win
because the world's just full of sin?

Like god has disappeared
and everything's as you've feared
because down at you everyone leered?

Like you've been beaten black and blue
and you just want everyone to shoo
because they can't possibly feel this way too?

Like the world's beaten you down
and all you can do is frown
because you've lost your only crown?

Like you can't make it another day
and nothing's going your way
because you're always the one who has to pay?

Like life's lost its purpose
and you feel like a show, a circus
because you need to resurface?

Like you're trapped in a pit
and you just want to quit
because everyone's so full of it?

You're just trying to get by
and you just need to cry
because everything's a lie

You need a helping hand
someone to understand

why you fall but never land

Because we all need a friend,
someone to stick with us till the end,
our broken hearts mend

I can be that someone, if you let me be
I can be your way out, your key
And all I ask in return is for you to do the same for me

A Hundred Heroes

"The world needs a hero," I heard you say,
But we all know that heroes often pay.
You looked at me and I shook my head.
"It couldn't be," I said,
"Heroes have to be wise and also fearless,
Have to smell lies and be tear-less.
It couldn't be me; I'm too small,
How could I help anything at all?"
You say, "Every hero is small at first
But they grow and quench their thirst.

"It's time for you to save the day;
Smile at the blue, make them the shade of may.
It's not that hard to be a hero,
Make a one out of a zero,
Put a smile on a strangers face,
All the frowns in the world replace.
It has to be you, because everyone's small.
It has to be you who gathers them all.
Because if everyone's there and everyone's trying
We can dry the tears of all the crying.
If we all work side by side
Then I'm afraid I have lied;

Because when we work together no one is small,
But we need someone to gather them all.
It could be you, it could be me
It could in fact be anybody
But if you believe it has to be you
Maybe others will too
And everyone will try a little harder,
Pay the full price instead of barter,
Spread around joy and a smile,
It will only take a little while
For everyone to be made a hero.
Because even a hundred has to begin with zero."

Stop

I don't want to fly
Because then I can fall
I don't want help
Because then I feel small
I don't want to swim
Because then I can drown
I don't want to smile
Because then I can frown

I don't want to talk
Because then I can slip
I don't want your heart
Because then it might chip
I don't want to love
Because then I can hurt
I don't want to listen
Because you might be curt

I don't want to act
Because then I can fail
I don't want to try
But to no avail
I don't want to laugh
Because then I can stop
I don't want a bubble
Because then it can pop

I don't want to feel
Because then I can cry
I don't want to live
Because then I can die
I don't want to dream
Because then I can wake
I don't want your trust
Because then it might break

I don't want more time
Because then I can waste it
I don't want to start
Because
             then
                    I
                      can
                            quit.

Long Dead

Faith is often misplaced
Love often goes to waste
Joy is often ignorance
Grace is often in absence
Fair is often just a fake
Truth is often a mistake
Peace is often an illusion
Hope is often just delusion
Courage is often stupidity
Justice often isn't for everybody
Trust is often broken
Freedom often only spoken
Unity is often not acted on
Dreams are often just a con
Strength is often only in your head
And chivalry is long dead

I would love to be proven wrong
with a word or something long
but unfortunately I am right
and if you don't like that, than fight!

Place your faith where you believe!
Love and happiness achieve!
Know the bad but still have joy!
Give grace to every girl and boy
Be wise and fair
Find the truth and actually care
Make peace; stop arguing over a little thing
Be realistic with your hope; bishop, not king
Be courageous, but think before you act
Your justice right and not lacked
Don't break somebody's trust
Have freedom, only talk about it if you must
Don't say you're united and then back-stab them
Think, don't follow you're dream on a whim
You have strength, but weakness is okay
And be chivalrous today

Goodbye Forever

I find it so hard to believe
That all you want is for me to leave
Through all of our fights I can't seem to see
Or figure out if it's actually me
Who made all our days go so sour
All I know is that in an hour
You'll be gone and break my heart
I used to think we'd never part

I guess all the songs are true
Because I find it so hard to be without you
But now you say that this is the end
And our hearts will just have to mend
But that can't be the last say!
Because I swear that this is the day
That I mend your heart and change your mind
I promise I'll be truthful and kind
I'll shove all of my priorities aside
Even if you're the one who lied

Isn't that what you want me to say?
Well I won't because this is the day
That you leave me in peace
And from my chains you finally release
Because like everything
Even if the bad tend to cling
This must come to an end
So goodbye my ex friend.

You Can't Know

You can't know

What's inside my head

You can't know

What I dream of in bed

You can't know

What I think right or wrong

You can't know

Why it's been so long

I can't come

With you right now

You can't come

When it's time to bow

You can't come

Into my special place

I can't come

Into the past space

You can't say

Those things to me

You can't say

That I need set free

You can't say

That this is love

You can't say

That you have a right to shove

You can't know

Because it wouldn't make sense

You can't know

That I've put up a fence

You can't come

Into my head

I can't come

Where I am led

You can't say

That this time it's for real

You can't say

Lies about how you feel

You can't know

That I'm so confused

You can know

That I won't let myself be bruised

You can't come

Here to stay

I can come

Because I pay

You can't say

That this time you won't go

And I can say

No.

Unknown Blue

I feel this thing inside of me
that wants to go free
but I can't let it out
in a cry or a shout
I don't even know
why I need it to go
I don't even care
why I don't want it there
I just need it to go away
but I don't want to have to pay
It needs to leave silently
so no one knows it was inside of me

It all hurts so much
To happiness I clutch
but it moves out of reach
I have a leach
that's sucking me dry
but I can't cry
I'm so confused!
I've been bruised
and cut
but I don't know by what
It all hurts inside
but still I lied
and said I was okay
Every single day
I pretend to be bold
but it's so cold
and so hot
Brave I am not

I can't remember
what comes after September
or my middle name
or what came
between me and you
or the color blue

I get lost in my own home
aimlessly I roam
not knowing what I'm supposed to do
not remembering what became of you
It's all fallen out of my ears
coming out in tears
it's fallen out of my eyes
been replaced with lies
it's come out of my nose
it all goes

It fell out of my mouth too
That's how they know what I did to you
That's why I ended up in jail
without hope of bail
That's why I forget
because I don't want to remember it
How you betrayed me completely
bruised and cut me . . .
And that's why I forgot blue
That's why I killed you.

Wasted Tears

     So many thoughts enter my head, but then escape me when I go to bed.  Can't find the words to say all the things that come my way.  So I keep my mouth shut, cry over a paper cut, and write what I feel, but it all seems unreal.  It's all an illusion, so why run when you're afraid?  I prayed, but I don't know why, because nobody answers my cry.
     We jump up just to crash down again; there is no way to win.  The only way to cross the finish line is to hang yourself on a vine, or die some other way.  We'll all cross that finish line someday.
     But that's not winning.  Die and go back to the beginning.  Or just have everything end.  What's the point in it, friend?  When you can never win, it's the same thing again and again.  The only thing that changes is time, it acts like a mime as it silently flows by, one day making us die.
     It all hurts inside, but still I lied and said I was okay, even though I'm dying day by day.  Everything changes yet stays the same.  We all beg for fame, yet say love is the important thing.  We're pawns but want to play king.
     Nobody seems to understand.  Nobody lends a helping hand.  We're all drowning in air, and breathing in water that's not there.  Nothing is real, no matter what we feel.
     I have to tell myself this or else, everything around me melts in tears.  There are so many fears.  So many reasons to cry; someday we'll all die.  That's the end of the story; there is no happily ever after for me, or anyone else in this world.  We get our hair curled when it's straight and straighten it when it's not.  We pay to make the cold hot, and make the hot cold.  We call ourselves bold, but we never are.  We're trapped in tar that's white as glass, but it will all pass.
     Because, as everyone knows, time fly's by . . . it goes.  And with it goes life, someday it'll end our strife.  And then what?  I try to shut the emotions out, try not to shout, or cry, over the fact that we all will die.  Every day's the same, but someday the sun will set the world aflame, or go out and everything will freeze, a cold or a hot breeze.  Will everything be made to burn, or will the world freeze and stop it's turn?
     Oblivion is on it's way, come to snuff us out one day, so what's the point in living?  Taking or giving?  It all gets taken in the blink of an eye; we all will die.  But I suppose that's okay.  Why have it any other way?  Because if we lived forever, why would we do anything clever?  We'd just stay the same for eternity, taking everything for granted you see.
     So we will all die someday, somehow.  So it's okay if I die now from this sickness inside of me; it's better than living for eternity.  Though that is a bit of a lie, because I don't really want to say goodbye.  Not yet anyway, but someday.  I can't help it if that day comes sooner than it should, sooner than I would want to have it end, but it's okay, friend.  Because I am glad for the short life I have had.  It is truly okay if my sickness makes me die today, or in one hundred years.  I won't waste my time here with tears.

From - someone willing to fight

Dear Lord, why's the world such a mess?
It pains me so to confess
that my hope is dwindling
and it's kindling
this fear in my soul
turning my heart to coal.

Dear God, why has your rod disappeared?
Is it as I've feared?
Thy rod and thy staff
only seem to mock and laugh
and do not comfort me
no longer set us free.

Dear Yahweh, why do we all stray from your path?
Send down your wrath
along with your grace
let us see your face
and your light.
Set things right.

Dear Father, won't you bother to speak with me?
My thoughts, they flee
from good to bad
like a fading fad
and I need your voice
to give me a better choice.

Dear Lord, I want more than this world is offering
I'm not asking to be made a king
but I want to be more than a pawn
more original than a time once upon
or a happily ever after,
why not end it with laughter?

 So will you help me, along with the rest of the world?
Checkered instead of swirled?
Or the other way around?
Let everyone be crowned?
If we all put up a fight
Can you help us make the world right?