Abstraction

Infinity, it stared at me
Winked and vanished in the inconsistency
Alone, I searched for a distraction
Softly, the world refused me a reaction

Surrendering, I plunged into my thoughts
Cascading down amongst twists and knots
Abstracted and lost
Reality ignoring my accost

Engulfed in myself, I sensed -
Drowning in an ocean I couldn't fight against -
Omniscience, and a lack thereof
Forgetting myself and all that I love

Nothingness screamed at me, and I didn't care
Only everything surrounded me there
Tossed about in a teeming void
Built anew while being destroyed

Eternity, it stared at me
I stared right back, wonderingly
Noticing just how small I was
Groping for significance and giving pause

Deserting my pursuit of grasping this abstraction
Infinity winked and I clung to a distraction
Saturated in a more concrete reality
Tortuous with previous notions of me

Resolutely ignoring life's dissonance
Affirming once more my significance
Circling actions with no pauses to give
Thinking concretely so I might live

Eternity, sporadically, will glance at me
Dancing before my questioning eyes, and vanishing in the inconsistency

Don't Think Twice

Yesterday I realized: this isn't fine
Ongoing thoughts of lilac and pine
Unwisely, I allowed a restart
Justifying how you toyed with my heart

Unwarranted, I suppose I'll say nothing at all
Subtly you'll fade, constructing a wall
Tempered with surety, I'll shut the door
Knowing all along I'd get nothing more

I'm not implying you treated me unkind
No: you could have done better, but I don't mind
Dared myself to try, and look where it went
Allowed myself to feel, and now I feel spent

Was it simply a waste of time and heartache?
Allowed a restart, prolonged our mistake
Silly and childish, I built castles in the air
They crumbled and crushed me, and you no longer care

Even so, I never could blame you for our plight
Don't think twice - it's all right
Make it all worth it: what is it worth now?
You broke no promises, I made no vow

Perhaps there is no worth, perhaps I wasn't meant to gain
Real friends or knowledge - watch it all wane
Echoing and circling in my tired head
Criticizing every silly truth I ever said

In soft and subtle tones, beckon me to rest
Once again wishing I'd tried my best
Unable to stop these circling thoughts and sleep
Smelling green pine, counting trees instead of sheep

Tomorrow you will slip away, and I won't mind
I didn't do my best, and you weren't always kind
Maybe it was just a waste of time and heartache
Ending in the slowest break