Sunday, January 19, 2020

Here

In this place where I'm so scared of making noise
I'll watch the people, full of grace and poise
Watch how they move their hands and feet
To the ever-present silent beat

Sometimes I think I'm the only one who hears it
This music that pushes and pulls so loudly I could never forget
Sometimes I think I'm the only one who does not
That everyone else is surrounded by a symphony I forgot

Either way, I watch them all, sitting in their chairs
Oblivious to each other's worries and cares
And I wonder about the universe in each one's head
And if I'll traverse all of mine before I am dead


And in this place where I'm so scared of being seen
I'll see nothing at all, unsure of what it could mean
Invisible, we all avoid each other's gaze
Isolated, focused on our own ways

And the air is full of little flakes of snow
Who never question where they must go
Or what they must do or who they should be
With grace, they accept the fact of gravity

And the room is full of familiar faces
Come together from far off places
And no one's sure of anyone's name
And no one bothers to ask why they all came


And in this place of strangers and quiet
I'm dancing too - invisible, I sit
For a moment to myself in a familiar dance
With no risk, no worries, no noise, no chance

With a scribbling pen in my hand
Focused only on things I understand
And the feel of paper between my fingers
Exhaling forcefully so none of it lingers

And I should study more and I should smile
But here I escape it all for awhile
For a moment of peace, and to watch the snow
And to forget about everywhere I must go


Because in this place where I'm so scared of making noise
I'm at one with the distance, silence, and poise
And there's nowhere I must go and nothing I must do
Only soft chairs, large windows, and aisles of books to skim through

Sunday, January 5, 2020

From Time To Time

I've run out of answers
It's not a hard thing to do
I'll shrug my shoulders
And take a moment to breathe too

All I have are questions
Ringing in my head
All I am is a collection of experiences
And old thoughts I try to shed

From time to time I wonder -
Will I ever be something more
Than who I am today
And who I was before?

To think of all the people I have been
And all I will be
Begs the question: where is the end of them
And the start of me?

I feel I change so much day to day
But not at all year to year
I'm caught in an endless circle
And I don't know how to get out of here

From time to time I wonder -
Just who am I anyway?
Am I who I want to be?
Is everything okay?

Am I worse or better off
After all the stress?
Did I put myself together correctly
Or make a bigger mess?

If I could, would I restart?
Erase all I'm holding onto?
Wash the gray from my hair
And from my heart too

From time to time I decide -
Everything truly is okay
Though I've run out of answers
I don't mind being made of questions anyway