Remnant

I'll draw circles in the air
Signifying the thoughts I'll never share
Twirling - spinning - rippling through space
I'll watch the muscles create expressions on my face

Looming ever nearer, it comes with speed
Lurching ever closer, hear me plead
Justice - mercy - guilt - who's to tell?
Under the pressure of their gaze - it pushed and I fell

Standing in an insignificant rain
Trouble pours down but I feel no pain
Watch it all melt away and die
Always waiting for one last goodbye

Not thinking it much your style -
Twirl a bit - it may make you smile
Turn once for me and watch it ripple out
One last look before the inevitable drought

Tell me no rules and I'll break not one
Answer my questions before we're done
Life careens on with no common courtesy
Knowledge is sought but it evades me

Touch down softly and drift away
Open your eyes - I won't ask you to stay
Yet I will cling to the remnant of rain
Open your mind - it shan't wane

Until then - my hands move in a rhythmic fashion
Tracing circles with my emotional ration
Only rippling through remnants and air
One last look - but it's no longer there 

Verily, Me

I didn't want to write again – no matter what they'll think it's about you

I suppose I won't fight or prolong it, and simply write what is true:

You took me on an emotional roller coaster – it all went so fast

I remember every smile you ever gave me, from the first to the last

I liked to hear you ramble – I liked it when you talked

I liked that you made sure to be closer to the road when we walked

You made me laugh, and blush, and cry

You said you loved everything about me, and I wondered why

If goodbye was inevitable, it's best to do it quickly, I thought

But I'm not sad about the time we had together – I'm sad about the time we will not . . .

I'm smart – I knew we wouldn't last – knew it would lead to no good

But I'm silly and childish – I wanted to keep you as long as I could . . .

I want to say there are no hard feelings, but what I'm feeling is hard

But time will heal, and we didn't know each other long enough to get scarred

But until that time . . . does your heart ache when you see me?

Do you flip-flop between being completely fine and crying suddenly?

There is an empty yet tight feeling in my chest, like someone squeezed my heart down a size or two

And I know there's no point, but I keep torturing myself with thoughts of you . . .

Don't fret – I work through feelings quickly – I'll be over you soon enough

It's just these last few days have been tough . . .

I'd like to think it's your loss – because I'm just that amazingly perfect, you know

But you are pretty amazing yourself, and I'm sorry you had to go

Because I'm me and must view every painful moment as an opportunity for growth and success -

I thank you for being such a gentleman, as now I'll never accept anything less

I'm glad to have known you – I don't regret it at all

I'll learn from this roller coaster, from every rise and every fall

Now I'll end with an inside joke, the meaning of which I'll never tell:

At least Victor Alan doesn't think I'm going to hell