Sap

I'm tired of trying to sound clever

Of putting on a thoughtful face

And pondering this and that

I just feel out of place

I'm tired of people avoiding my gaze

And looking behind my back

I'm tired of explaining myself

And everything I lack

I'm tired of complaining

About things that don't truly matter

Covered in anxiety and lies

Take it all away, I'll shatter

I'll wallow in self-pity

And wish things would change

But stay within my comfort zone

Never finding my true rage

I'll write forever and say nothing at all

It's all nonsense and lies

I'll push your memory from my head

But dream of your eyes

I can't be happy, not today -

Everything is normal, see?

I can't be sad, not right now -

Numbness has ahold on me

Disjointed, disconnected

Stringed together verse

Daydreams filling my life

Watch them all disperse

Time goes so slowly

I feel so old, so young

Yet I feel younger than I once was

Falling back another wrung

I'm cold and overstimulated 

Birds chirping in one ear

While music blasts in the other

Trying to forget I'm here

I'm tired of thinking

But I doubt I'll ever quit

Ideas dying all around me

Just another thing to forget

I'll never be good enough for myself

I'll never find someone who disagrees 

Wholeheartedly enough to convince me otherwise

Everyone blows away in the breeze

I'm tired of trying to sound clever

So I didn't try this time

It's just a bundle of silly thoughts

Held together with a rhyme