Radiate

The days are rushing, the nights are cold

Snow seeps into my skin

To freeze just one moment here 

Dwell on what could have been -

What could be, after this

After one more striven chance

How to reach a balanced bliss

How to pace this muddled dance

Can I stop tripping over my feet

Can you stop standing on my toes

If we could hear the same music

If we could collaborate and compose

A song that works for all of us

A symphony of life

That elevates the happy times

And holds us tight through strife

Because the strife freezes in the cold

To weigh heavily on our skin

While the happy times blaze and burn

Burning out into what has been

Let us find new ways to warm us

Let us dance until we radiate 

Then let us dance beyond this

Until the nights abate 

Rain

Tomorrow has escaped my grasp

Has once more eluded me

Each day it makes promises

Repeating, yet never coming to be

Entire lifetimes have been spent

In the vain attempt to hold them from -

Still trying to wrap their fingers around

All the tomorrows that'll never come

How indifferent they must be

Oaths given but never kept

Losing time and gaining it

Endless wavering we all accept

I will accept none of it -

None of the numbness they call sane

My head will open to the sky

Yearning, yet catching only rain

Here we will pause and reflect 

Each water drop lying in the grass

All the tomorrows held therein 

Drop away, yet never pass

Regurgitate

Shall we spin some nonsense 

Avoid going deeper today

Ambiguity is the best defense 

When you don't know what to say

When you don't know what to feel 

Just pretend none of it is real

Disassociate

And tip the scales

Towards fairytales

Leave behind your fate

I'll step outside to get some air 

And calm my pounding heart

All my seams are starting to tear 

And I'm just trying not to fall apart 

Breathing beneath an icy sky 

In an effort to keep my eyes dry

Force the feelings down

Press them tightly to my core

Til I don't feel them anymore 

Let them all drown 

But let us return to nonsense 

I don't want to explain myself today 

Lose them all in pretense 

And endless shades of gray

Draining all the colors out of the sky

Leave the ground barren and dry

Accept this endless fate

Of blank faces and inner war 

Why expect anything more

Than all they regurgitate 

Endeavor

Wading into dissent 
Hear the waves ebb and flow
At the very heart of the matter
Tear them down and let them go

I can’t force the words
Falling from my face
I can’t mold them into
Truthfulness with grace

Oozing emotion and fear
Locked it within for so long 
Daring not to release 
Told always that it’d be wrong

How can it be wrong?
Endeavoring simply to be me
Tear down the expectations 
Rain down reality 

Until it’s all washed away
Til every lie has been scrubbed clean
Hear the waves settle softly, and finally be seen

Architecture

Cast me down, lose your grip

It's all the same by now

Drinking poison, one more sip

All the things I thought I'd never allow

Have slowly come about

Drip by drip, drowning me in doubt

Slowly now, do not upset

The teetering towers of conjecture 

Such impressively pitiful architecture 

Can't escape them yet

Pick me up, bruise my skin

Tracing the circles still

All the things it could have been 

Lost to a loss of will 

Caught in past mistakes 

Shame is all it takes 

To push the faces down 

Further and further into the dirt

Still pretending it doesn't hurt

To sink until you drown

Leave me here, one more time

Drawing further into myself constantly 

After all, it's no crime

To pretend you never see 

All the damage done

By and to everyone

Please, let us not upset 

The deeply ingrained biases 

Shrouded beneath weaponized piousness

Can't escape them yet